A Life in Movies

The 84th annual Academy Awards just wrapped up, and besides Billy Crystal being a dick...the show was pretty good. I thought the people who won each award were deserving. I love movies, I try to watch all different types of movies, the good ones, the bad ones, funny or sad ones, they all can be great in their own way. But for several movies, I can't help to think what it would be like if certain situation's were real. 

Thrillers and scary movies tend to be the worst about this. My question is, when something that crazy or fucking scary happens to you, how in the hell do you come back from something like that! I mean honestly, take a movie like Transformers or more recently Paranormal Activity 3. If a situation actually did happen like it does in Transformers, how the hell do you lead a normal life after that, not to mention you have the greatest story topper ever. That movie takes place in like a week, what the hell would you do the next week. Can you walk up to one of your buddies or co-workers and be like, "you will not fucking believe what happened to me last week.." Then casually precede to tell him how you had rockets being shot at you by 30 foot tall space robots, who were blowing the entire city to smithereens. If someone were to come up and tell you that with a straight face, it would probably be pretty tough to be like "oh nice, well I just sat around watching football all weekend, you know, pretty laid back." No that is impossible! Not to mention that the person who had that wild weekend would probably be traumatized for the rest of their life. You can even walk down the street anymore with out having some sort of Vietnam flashback. To make matters worse, how about a scary movie? All the paranormal movies scared the shit out of me. Especially in the movie theaters where the sound makes everything 20x worse. In the third one, there are survivors (I promise that doesn't really ruin the movie for those who haven't seen it), so for those survivors, how do you go day to day with out pure anxiety every time you walk into a house. Like, "I got dragged down the fucking stair case last night by something demonic...it was crazy, but after that I made spaghetti for the family, then watched The Big Bang Theory." No, that happens once and you're done for, there will never be another time in your life where you don't try to  sprint your ass up the stairs in fear for your life, it just doesn't happen. 

I'm trying to avoid the obvious question's that people ask when watching epic films, like "how did they survive that" or "why don't they just run away". I get those questions, but it's fucking Hollywood, do you know how boring a movie would be if in a scary movie someone just got in their car and drove 100 miles away. I think I have made my point. But I think one thing that is interesting is in comedy movies, and how often the funny parts are derived from certain people getting injured. In Old School (one of my favorites) Will Ferrell gets shot with a dart, and burnt in a ring of fire. Granted, in the movie it was damn hilarious, but if that actually happened in real life...probably not so funny. No man wants to get a swift kick to the balls, yet when they show it in movies it is so funny. I find that interesting that comedies have the ability to make serious situations funny, or injuries seem enjoyable. In reality, those situations are only funny on the big screen, not so much in real life. 

These are just fun questions to think about, but the truth is I don't really care one way or another. The fact that a movie can draw you in, and make you believe, want, and think is what makes any movie so enjoyable