Invention for a lifetime.

I recently had a discussion with a friend of mine about the greatest invention of all time. There are all sorts of answers depending on your opinion. We can start with the original invention of fire, and to be fair to fire, at some point the creation of fire was ideally the greatest invention ever, unfortunately now, thanks to lighter's and matches (which is practically a dying invention as well), fire hardly seems something we are grateful for. Secondly, we have the wheel. The wheel seems like a great invention, but quite frankly isn't the invention of the second wheel more pertinent than the solo wheel. As the years progress there have certainly been some wonderful inventions that have helped all of mankind. Distilled alcohol should certainly be a candidate, with out it we would have never known Jesus could have turned water into it, and people would hate their lives more than they already do if not for the consumption of alcohol. But even then, as enjoyable as it may be, I'm not sure that alcohol hails numero uno. Planes, cars, and specifically boats, seem like the reason we have ended up on the western hemisphere, but as much as I'm thankful that Christopher Columbus was arguably the worst explorer to sail the sea's seeing he couldn't read a compass properly, that doesn't seem like the greatest invention to me either.  In all seriousness, agriculture is definitely a close second. But the winner for me has got to be the printing press. Every bit of knowledge that we have possessed has been possible because we could read it from somewhere. All the technology that we have today had to be put on paper somewhere first, and if not for Mr. Johannes Gutenberg creation of the printing press, we would still be back in the dark ages.

Disagree? What are your thoughts?

Parenting: If they make a Mistake...hit em'

Alright well I'm not a parent, but that doesn't mean that I'm not aware of the rights and wrong's of bringing up a child. 

Nothing is more infuriating than being in a public place and witnessing a child get the hell beat out of them because they are "making a scene". To be fair, the only scene that is being made is watching a parent's inability to control your child with out having to wail on them. For all the people who believe that hitting your child is a proper way of teaching discipline let me ask you a couple of things. At your age, if someone were to hit you repeatedly because you weren't doing something right, would you still want to be near them, talk to them, or go to them when you have a problem? Unless your suffering from Stockholm Syndrome my guess is probably not. You say fuck that guy, and you never want to hang out with them anymore. So what do you think your child thinks? That you love them unconditionally still after you told them to go get "the belt"? All your doing when you hit a child for acting up is striking fear into them, not necessarily teaching them a lesson. You would think by now that people would have figured that out. Yet some people find that acting like a barbarian who has no other logic except force is the right way to handle things. Did you ever stop to think that your child has only been in the world for lets say, two or three years? and that maybe it's possible that they are not fully aware of what is right and what is wrong? If that were the case nobody would ever make anymore mistakes by the time we reach adulthood. Everyone makes the right decision, and nobody ever fucks up anymore because they should already know. From a logical standpoint, parents, if you make a mistake shouldn't someone be allowed to hit you? I mean you should know better by now right? Yet some people still insist on not listening to people when they are told specific instructions right? I say beat them. Beat them all for the their mistakes. The sad thing is they should actually know better by now because they older, more wise, and conscious of the decision's they make. Yet somehow when that happens that is considered assault. But when an innocent child is hit, it's called punishment or parenting. 

"Well I was hit when I was a child and I turned out okay." That's awesome, you're called the exception. Even then, maybe your not even aware of the mental trauma that was ingrained into you, or maybe your not as close with your parents because of that. 

Beating your kids is the easy way out of parenting, and often the result of built up anger that is taken out on your child rather than the culprit who initially pissed you off. Anyone can hit a kid, and it makes you look pathetic. Try hitting your spouse next time they don't do things right, or a stranger who is acting up in public and see how things go. I'll reiterate me point by telling you hitting children doesn't teach them lessons, it only teaches them fear. The reason they stop acting up is because they are scared of being hit, not understanding what they did was wrong. So maybe it's time for you to start growing up, rather than hitting someone who is trying to do the same thing. 

To the Bottom of the Totem Pole we will go

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fthechive.com%2F2012%2F04%2F18%2Fa-fascinatingly-disturbing-thought-video%2F&h=cAQHBVrKhAQF8CqwNP5gwTqTr49qvnQuwQbVuTvbcp-smLg


This link here will blow your mind. The idea in this video is well thought, creative, and incredibly intelligent. Astrophysicist, Neil Degrasse Tyson is the speaker in the video and he discusses the idea of how life could have been potentially created on earth because of mars. He further explains the idea of how human and chimpanzee relationship's are so very close (separated by only 1% by DNA), yet at the same time so far apart. Furthermore, Tyson goes on to discuss the idea of a being, or alien, that might only be 1% different than us, but in the continuing direction, and the scale or magnitude of their intelligence, and how much greater intellectually they would be compared to us. As he mentioned, think about it like a alien child or toddler being able to perform at the same intelligence level as Stephen Hawking. He describes this idea as fascinating, I describe it as fucking scary. 


In a perfect scenario, yes, the idea of super cool aliens hovering down and telling us about all the greatest questions, and teaching us all the unanswered things we are still trying to learn would be totally cool. At the same time though, these martians could be the naughty kid who hovers over ants with a magnifying glass. If that were the case things wouldn't even be fair. Your most intelligent thought, whether it was an attacking or defensive strategy would be a joke to them. They would laugh and then murder you dead. Our military would be blown to smithereens in a matter of seconds. Not even John Rambo would be able to fight this battle, and he fought of the entire country of Vietnam in an hour and half.  To make matters worse, imagine if they were not violent creatures, yet still obtained the 1% greater intelligence than humans. Do you have any idea how demoralizing that would be! Any time you came of with a cool idea, a funny joke, or a cool drinking game...they would be able to one up you right away! Human's would have to be pumped full of Prozac just so that they could make it through the day with out offing themselves. The confidence levels of even the most arrogant pricks would be submerged in an pool of much greater intelligence. God only knows if they were more athletic. There would have to be segregated sports among species. Alien slam dunk contest's would have to be held outside so their vertical wouldn't be limited to the roof, and football fields would have to be 400 yards long. Michael Jordan in his prime would have looked like Luke Walton, Pele' like This year's Andy Carroll, Tiger Woods like John Daly, and Mia Hamm like...every other women athlete? Anyways, the point is we would be the laughing stock of society, and there would be nothing fun about meeting these new species from across the universe. The idea is marvelous and Respect to Mr. Neil Tyson for his eagerness to find these soul suckers, but I prefer to live in a universe where we are the only intelligent being.

The New Orleans Saints

Last week, the New Orleans Saints speculation of a bounty scandal were busted wide open with an exclusive "motivational speech" from coach Gregg Williams. Now, there is no doubt that some of the things he said were pretty fucked up, but I spent some time thinking about this whole thing, and though I don't agree with my own thoughts, I do find it interesting way of looking at it.

The bounty scandal, for those who don't know, was a set up in the New Orleans organization where coaches were paying players to injure certain players on the field. You take Tom Brady out of the game, here is 15,000 bucks, simple as that. The way I see it, the way that analyst and media portray and word the bounty scandal that was taking place influences viewers to see it in a negative light. To me, I don't agree with it, especially after hearing the speech and everything, I think it's obviously frowned upon to tell someone to go after someone with previous concussions, or attack someones ACL. However, I believe that it is only morally wrong that the Saints did this, not necessarily legally wrong and this is why...

The New Orleans Saints were top 9th in the league for penalty yards according to ESPN, which seems bad, but the majority of those came from the offensive side of the ball. Secondly, I tried to find players who got suspended but found nothing on players from New Orleans being suspended specifically for dirty hits on players. Which raises the original question, is the bounty scandal more immoral than illegal? Think about it, that's like suspending players for doing their job too well. They're not getting flagged during the game for illegal hits, yet now they are in trouble for hitting guys legally as hard as they can, but isn't that supposed to be their job in the first place? Now, someone is paying them small amounts of money (compared to the salary they make) to give them incentive to play as hard as they can on every down. If they were getting in fights, and stomping on people's heads in between plays and stuff then this whole thing would be illegal and immoral, but it seems to me that the Saints are just playing the sport like they are supposed to, unfortunately, because it is a contact sport guys do get injured. But them getting paid extra money out of pocket for doing their job doesn't seem illegal, just simply frowned upon. It's not taking money away from the NFL, and it's a crafty and dark way of keeping guys motivated.

I'm not saying that I agree with this thought at all, but I do find it interesting the way the media is portraying the entire "bountygate" thing. It seems to me like video taping practices, anyone who acts like James Harrison, or steroids should be taken more seriously than this, according to how I thought about it. What do you think?

Here's a guy...

I know right now that the NFL talks are all about the bounty scandal, Andrew Luck, RG3, and Peyton Manning in Denver now, but one story recently popped up that sort of made headlines, but didn't quite as much as an impact as it should have. I'm talking about LSU's top defensive back, Morris Claiborne. There is no doubt that Morris Claiborne is a beast, and that he will probably go top 10 in the NFL draft this year. That sounds great right? Well, little fun fact is that this guy managed to score a gentleman's 4 on the Wunderlich test this year. For those of you who don't know what this test is let me explain: Basically the Wunderlich test is a 50 question test that test's basic knowledge...sort of like an IQ test, but for dumb people. The average score for the NFL is a 24, and the national American average is a 26 or 27. This guy, Mr. Claiborne made a fucking 4 on the test. You wanna know what kind of question's are on this test. Here you go:

What number comes next in the number sequence:
8     4     2     1     1/2     1/4     ...

What is the ninth month in a standard calendar year?

assuming the first two sentences are true, what is the third one?
all baseball player's wear hats. all boys play baseball. all boys wear hats


A pad of paper cost 40 cents. You need to buy 4 pads of paper. How much money do you need to purchase 4 pads or paper?

There are several more obviously, but I can assure you that no question gets much harder than that. According to the test, a score of 10 is just considered literate. He got a 4! I knew Vince Young was retarded, and he got a 6! that's like getting a 100 point test back from a teacher and realizing that you got an 8 (12 for Young). Fuck the average person could probably be given a blank scantron, no test, blindly mark 50 answers and score higher than a 4.

So this simple Jack, is now going to be filthy rich when that retard can probably barely spell his name. I mean honestly, do you really think that Morris actually had the grades in high school to get into LSU in the first place? Then receive a full scholarship where he doesn't have to pay a dime, actually attend class and graduate with a degree! He scored a fucking 4 on the Wunderlich test. I know that doesn't justify who you are, but come one man, how did this guy even operate day to day, let alone play football. It has to be incredibly embarrassing for him, that is if he can even comprehend that people are laughing at him. But the frustrating thing is, he never paid for college, probably got paid extra money while he was there. I mean let's face it, I'm fairly certain that almost every school does that shit. Then he received a degree (probably in a major he isn't even aware exists). Finally, like I said, this guy is going to make millions. It's bullshit. I mean in the end, he will probably lose all of that money, because just like every other retarded athlete. This is the end. I mean need I say more...okay one last time, a fucking 4 out of 50. May God help us all.

Curiosity meets Cool

The title speaks for itself, I'm curious about a lot of things that people deem as cool or they love because a lot of it doesn't quite make sense to me...

Right now in Houston the weather is already getting increasingly hotter and it is only March. Now obviously there is some biased to this, but I never understand why people say that they love the cold weather. But when people are discussing where they might be going on a summer trip or spring break, people always reference how much they love cold weather. What is fun about pasty skin and a weathered look? Does anybody realize how many ugly people live up north because they have seen one too many harsh winter's? I can only assume that girls say they love the cold so that they have a reason to cover up their hideous bodies, and guy's say it so they have an excuse to wear a NorthFace jacket and pretend that their cool. Everybody can go lay out on the beach and enjoy the sun, but nobody ever talks about how they laid out on the snow to catch some cold. Lastly, for all the people that love to ski and snowboard because they say they are really good at it, basically what they are telling you is their family has a fuck load of money to spend on their child so they think they can play a "sport". If skiing and snowboarding were actually sports, black people would be playing and they would be better than all the rich white kids.

Another big, hip and cool thing that people do is openly express their love for independent movies. Donnie Darko for instance was a really a movie that tried really hard to create a story with a bunny, crashing airplanes, an actual brother and sister, Seth Rogen (yes, he plays a small role in that movie), people dying, a cool theme song, and tried to say that all created some twisted and beautiful story. For all you hipsters who claim that Donnie Darko is one of your favorite movies either are trying too hard to be different, or you have a horrible taste in movies. The same can go for movies like Napoleon Dynamite, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, The Royal Tenenbaums, and The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (R.I.P Heath). Those movies have horrible stories that people try to manipulate in order to make them cool, like they have some different train of thought that nobody else understands and therefore they feel superior because they spent 12 dollars to go see a shitty movie nobody else would.

The next thing I can assure you is that listening to country doesn't prove that you're a tough guy who isn't afraid to show a little emotion because you like the slow songs too. all it shows is that you like the sound of a dull guitar and lyrics that a 5th grader can write. Which brings me to the next topic, because this happens often in country music. Talking with an exaggerated southern drawl like your a "cowboy" isn't by any means cool or sexy. It's uneducated and fucking annoying. If you want to be part of a backwoods, inbred community, go to Kentucky or West Virginia. You can join the five other farmers left in America who still wear cowboy hats, have 4 teeth, think Blue Collar Comedy Tour is hilarious and argue there is no difference between their wife and cousin. Even further than that, if you enjoy talking like you grew up in "the hood" is equally unappreciated. That was moderately cool in the 90's and early 2000's, but then again so were tall T's, and grills. It sounds terrible, and certainly if that is the sort of thing your're into, then either you need to need to purchase Rosetta Stone's English CD pack, or Hooked on Phonics for those who feel Rosetta Stone is a little out of their league still.

Lastly, and I have already touched on this multiple times in previous blogs, and this sort of concludes the entire point of this blog by suggesting to be yourself, and not to try to be something your not. But don't support something you don't truly believe in, it drives me fucking crazy. Like all the people who really and truly devoted themselves to the Kony 2012 movement, was that fun for a whole week? Did you feel like you were part of a revolutionary movement? Or all the people who claim they support breast cancer. Do you really do something to try and help, or do you just like wearing a wristband that says 'boobs' on it? Nothing is worse than pretending to support something you don't cause you think people will think you are some sort of humanitarian.

I conclude by apologizing to those who truly do enjoy being ugly and cold, a shitty taste in movies, or a permanent speech impediment. I'm not knocking you, but I do feel bad for you. Lastly, to those who really do support movement and do something to help I thank you, because I probably don't make enough of an effort to do something. But here is a little fun fact, The guy who started the Kony movement? Claimed that he gained just over a million dollars and kept 900k in order to "further the movement". He isn't the only one, all those donation companies or movements, usually only send 10% of the money that is sent over there. So think about it next time you decide where your sending your money 

These are "Those" People

There was recently an article posted on Yahoo! that just proves how fucking retarded some people can be. The title of the article itself just proves this schmuck is a complete douche, "First Person: How to earn $100,000 and Still Feel Poor". This lady, Laura Cone, writes a short piece about how his family of 4 is "struggling" to make ends meet on a $100,000 salary, and how that might be the new minimum wage in America. First things first, this woman's writing sucked and all she did was get on a giant soap box, complain about everything (and who's surprised) financially, and attempt to throw a huge pity party for herself assuming that people might actually feel for her. She goes on to mention that she spends 1,000/month on groceries (I'm assuming she does the grocery shopping), but what she would really like is to eat at a 4 star restaurant every night, and that her two kids are going to community college, but what would be great is to be struggling to send them to an Ivy League school. Then she completes her job of looking like a total ass by saying they bought their son a new car to deliver pizza, and that they save 10% of their income for their saving investments. Oh yeah, they also carry no debt.

All this shows is how some people just can't manage their money, or let alone appreciate when they've got a good thing going. This ungrateful whore just so happen to makes her "pathetic" life public by somehow getting it on Yahoo!. The only defense to Laura is that there are so many people that live above their means and then complain that the economy is in ruins, or they don't understand how they aren't making ends meet, basically what she would like to do to her family. The sad thing is this happens all the time. People try to buy huge houses and new cars that they clearly can't afford, so instead of making them look like rich, they just look pathetic. It's like those people's houses you walk into that are really big, but when you walk inside there is three pieces of furniture and all white walls. Or the single lady on a low salary with 4 kids decides to drop 5 grand on breast implants, why? Oh cause it made her feel better about herself. All these sort of awesome decision's that people realize how fucking stupid they actually are.

To be honest the biggest problem I have with this whole thing is how pathetic this Laura Cone sounds. Here she is not struggling or poor, but maybe just unhappy. Maybe she has an ugly husband, or her kids are destine to amount to nothing. Regardless of what the problem is, from what I read I can only assume she wants her next 5 years to look like this...Buy a huge house with expensive cars and live like money is no problem, a year after that have the house foreclosed so all your rich neighbors can see, get the car repossessed at your soon to be foreclosed house where you make a huge scene, begging and crying for them not to take it, later to only  discover your husband is cheating on you because you clearly care more about what others think than he does, you can't grocery shop properly and instead of using your natural instincts and cooking, you ate out every day and tipped 35% because it makes you look important, and now single and poor, you realize that maybe the way you were living 5 or 6 years prior to that wasn't actually as bad as it seemed.

What's important to realize is that this Laura Cone lady needs to stop being a little bitch and realize that they've got a good thing going. I would love to find a job that makes 100k a year, and I think almost anyone would, so I end this with a big fuck you Laura Cone, value what's good in life, and learn how to spend your money better.





p.s here is this abomination of an article http://finance.yahoo.com/news/first-person-earn-more-100-000-still-feel-151200753.html

Everyone Wants to Help

Ah...the idea of mass hysteria is great. One person creates a video and all the sudden everyone claims they're a fucking humanitarian. I'm talking about this new video created in efforts to stop a man by the name of Joseph Kony. I'm not knocking the video at all, in fact I agree it's a good thing, we need to kill this motherfucker. But when everyone start's to think that they are Mother Teresa because they can update their status's over their phone showing how much they care, then I think we are really missing the point here. 

Facebook is a funny thing when it comes to these sort of events. We read one thing and all of the sudden people are philosophers with these deep and sentimental wall posts about how much they give a fuck about this new global issue. Like after watching a 30 minute video they have become enlightened and blessed with all these moral ideals. The truth is that most of these people who have all the sudden become "concerned", really cared about nothing outside their own little lives, let alone Africa, but the idea of joining in in a mass concern for the well-being of other's makes them feel like they are actually making a difference in the world.

 Because of this people trying to make light of the situation, and as a result of this new found wisdom by all you newly created globally cultured people, y'all are jumping their nuts, preaching to them about the seriousness of the whole situation as if you just got back from a one man John Rambo mission through Uganda. This is called mass hysteria. It is very common not only in efforts to help the world, but even something as small as a sports team winning a championship game. That's why for instance when the Chicago Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup people were rioting in the streets. I'm talking about common people who work a 9 to 5, setting cars on fire and flipping them. That is mass hysteria, people acting or performing out of the ordinary because one or a few people start something. It's like a false epidemic. That's how this is working right now and lately comments on Facebook have been too funny. There are guys and girls posting this video and then commenting below them with these inspiring words like they are fucking Aristotle, when really all they know is about 30 minutes of information that they were completely oblivious to before that.

So before everyone gets all hyped up thinking they are making a difference by posting a video let me hit you with a little knowledge, you're not. And for all you funny people who are making a joke out of this...well it's a little soon I suppose, plus nothing makes you look like more of a douche than a failed joke via Facebook. So instead of falling into the hysteria, why don't we let the people who actually do know what's going on take care of things.

Just a Quick Thought

This will be short, but I was listening to the radio this morning and Marilyn Manson's cover of Sweet Dreams came on. I'm not really a Manson fan, but I do enjoy that song...gotta love the 80's. But after the song ended I was thinking...isn't Marilyn Manson basically the male version of Lady Gaga? Though it is difficult to compare fame, even though Manson has quite the cult following, Both artists are very similar in their antics. They both dress in ways that turn heads, their on stage performances or both bizarre but somewhat intriguing, and the majority of their interviews they are quoted as saying something borderline controversial. In the scheme of things, they are both incredibly intelligent people, who's ideologies of fame is to stand against the norm, and use their "way out in left-field" persona's create the image that the public views them as. Think about it. 

I want a Trophy for Losing

Ah competition, one of the building blocks for how society came to be. competition is what makes people strive to be the best that they can be, and if you come up short, then you need to work harder to be the best. Now, of course right now if I worked as hard as possibly could to try and be a NFL running back that would never happen, I mean certain goals have to be limited. In school, if you try really hard and make good grades you will be first in your class, winning. This whole concept is great! It's what keeps society strong, and it is what keeps people pushing other people to be better at everything they do. This is all sounds perfect right? Well for some reason the new generation of parents and children are seeing things a little differently...

In school now there is a policy called "No Child Left Behind", which in simple terms is, a new order movement that basically prevents a child from failing a grade. Why did they do this? Well, it seems that parents said their children would be embarrassed if their child failed a grade, and would be behind all of their friends. So from now on, you can literally sit in class all day, with nothing in your hand, never participate, never do homework, and after 13 years of public schooling...you will have a diploma in your hands that you probably can't even read. These are the kids getting into college. Why? well since their parents didn't give a fuck about them, and they're equally as stupid, the government realized, hey they don't make a lot of money, let us help their retard child pay for school! That way everybody wins. Because nobody would want to be embarrassed because they don't do well in school...no instead even if you are smart, you still wind up in the same spot as all the dumb kids. Competition. Erased.

In youth sports or camps, all children have to win some sort of award or trophy at the end of the season or camp. So when I have a beached whale roll onto the soccer field, cries, bitches, and sweats too much after three minutes of playing, I have to give him a trophy for "best personality" in the group. If he doesn't get an award, he would be sad and even more fat because the other kids won an award and he didn't...so what happens? Mommy bitches that we were too hard on her fat fuck child, and he has every right to win something that the other kids do. So from now on, no matter how bad you suck at something you win an award so you can feel like a winner. If this worked in real life, everyone would be the CEO of their companies right? I mean if Ernie get's promoted I want to too. It's not fair that he got promoted and I didn't. At some schools, children are discouraged from playing games like tag, or sports. Why? Oh well because that same fat kid who sucked at soccer camp, he can never tag anyone on the playground which in turns leads to his mommy coming to the rescue again. Lastly, a high school cheer leading coach in a near by area was fired for calling the girls on his team "heffer's" which apparently is slang for a cow or something. In an uproar their parents came to the school and got the man fired. He got fired for a word. One single word. The man has a wife and kid's and now will probably never work in the school system again. I saw what the girls looked like, and to be honest they probably could have thrown up after a few meals. I wish I only got called a heffer when I played sports.

I could go on forever about how pathetic society is getting with competitive nature. Even when I was in school, you failed, you stay in the grade. If you lost you were the loser. When you applied for college, if you're grades and SAT aren't good enough, you're not going. Now, everyone has to be a winner in some way, nobody wants to get their feelings hurt, or told they can't do that. Nobody wants anybody to be better than the other person because that's embarrassing to the person who isn't as good.

The point is we need competition. Competition still exist in the real world where things matter. We have a bunch of children running around who have never lost, never heard a cuss word, had everything handed to them, and are probably still breast feeding in high school. Parents need to find their backbone and children need to sack up. Don't make life a military school, but it's time to cut the cord people.

Women in Sports

Dear God, please stop letting women participate in men's sports. It is not empowering or fun anymore, quite frankly it's a little embarrassing...

The reason I'm talking about this is because I accidentally saw highlights of the Daytona 500 last night. Now let me get one thing straight...NASCAR isn't really a sport, in fact, not even remotely close. "Dude you don't realize how hard that is.." I know that they sweat a lot, and you have to have good forearm strength to hold a wheel in one position for 500 laps. Anyone can drink a lot of water and work out their forearms, that's not being an athlete, that's being a guy at any age 14 plus. Not to mention it's boring as fuck. So with that being said, the retards that run this NASCAR organization decided that they were going to do something really smart to boost ratings...throw the media a little curve ball, and by God did it work. They decided to let a women get into the driver's seat of a car and compete...To make matter's worse, all the inbred people are hooping and hollering because they think she is smoking hot, when the truth is I'm not seeing it? Regardless of looks the person I'm talking about is Danica Patrick, the lady who defying odds by racing with the big boys....or something like that...

Every single race that's coming up, I have to hear a five minute segment on Danica about how, this is her year to be one of the best; and this race she has the best chance ever. Why do people keep saying this? The fact is she has been racing in what is equivalent to the minor leagues for most of her racing career, never won a NASCAR race, or even come remotely close. What this really boils down to is, people need to stop comparing women to men when it comes to sports. I promise women are fantastic at a bunch of things...for instance, I firmly believe that a women would make a better president than a man, and I also believe that women cope better in a high stress jobs. On top of that, I am completely okay with women's right, and all the equality so on and so forth. But, please quit comparing men and women's sports, because that is one thing that will never ever be equal.

Anika Sorenstam (however you spell it) tried to join the PGA...sucked. Danica Patrick has already been talked about...still fucking sucks. There have been a couple Asian golfers that tried to play PGA...sucked. If you take the best women in any sport, and play them against the best man in that respected sport...the man will win 100% of the time. For the sake of the argument, I'm just staying in America (minus Nadal)...so, Lisa Leslie vs Michael Jordan, Landon Donovan vs Mia Hamm, Serena Williams vs Rafael Nadal, whoever is the best golfer right now vs Tiger Woods. I would love to hear anyone's argument that any of these women could beat any of these guys in a game of one on one!

There is nothing special about a girl playing among men when they suck...if any of those girls were winning something it would be different, but any women can get out there and play with men and get their ass kicked. Yet, somehow people find this inspirational, and stepping stone for women in sports. What is inspirational about taking last all the time? That just means for some reason women can sign up for men's sports and it's cool, but if a man ever did that, they would be ostracized. I'll conclude this by saying that if women were as good at sports as men were, the WNBA wouldn't be dying organization, the WPS wouldn't be starting up again for like the 5th time, and there would be professional softball or volleyball. For the record Danica Patrick took an embarrassing 38th place at this year's Daytona 500, plus look at this video of her crashing...why the fuck did she take her hands off the wheel during the crash to grab her head? she has a fucking helmet on!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K1CpII2yJM


p.s I apologize to some who might be offended by this...but I'm not trying to be rude or sexist, I'm simply just pointing out something that is truthful.

Get Over it

There are so many bands that are incredibly popular right now that should not be getting the recognition that they are getting. I'm not saying their bad...well I kind of am, but I'm not comparing these people to people who are incredibly awful, but just so happened to hit a fad wave, and now their superstars (i.e. Justin Bieber). These are bands who continue to be popular for some reason, when in reality they are not as good as people make them out to be.

1.) The Foo Fighters - Sure after Kurt Cobain blew his brains out Dave Grohl abandon ship to start a new project. The Foo Fighters have maybe two good songs at best, but other than that, every single song that becomes popular by them is the exact same. A 7 minute song, that starts off with a nice beat, they play the chorus once, then have a 2 minute long bridge, followed by the band just raging and Dave singing as loud as he can the same thing over and over (Listen to the song "The Pretender" and you have heard at least 25 other Foo Fighter songs). Every year though they somehow are this huge rock band with a "new" sound.

2.) Taylor Swift - how the fuck does she keep winning awards in country! she is not a country singer! All of her songs are driven for frat boys who think it's cool to listen to her, and girls to say they can relate to all of her songs. Their horrible love or break up songs, that again all sound the same.

3.) Green Day - Green Day used to be the bee's knees way back in the early 90's, but then stardom struck and they became one of the biggest sellout bands I have ever seen. They used to be very punk rock, like on the 'Dookie' album (which is one of the greatest album names ever might I add) and for some reason lately all of their songs are these political embedded songs (Minority), that people sing to and don't even realize what the fuck they're singing about.

4.) Lady Gaga and Nikki Minaj - These two women need to be in prison for identity theft. Lady Gaga is America's new Madonna, she isn't doing anything new...Gaga just managed slip herself right into the role where everyone thinks she is super artistic, and an "actual" artist for how she acts, but in reality she just does everything Madonna did. Nikki Minaj is even worse because at least Lady Gaga is somewhat talented. Nikki Minaj completely stole Lil Kim and Da Brat's identity. The only problem is is she can't rap. She just uses that disgusting deep voice of hers, and raps about dirty things, and all the sudden people think she is fucking brilliant. Well, if they knew something about music, they would know that the original two already did that shit.

5.) Any band who sounds like Nickelback, 3 Days Grace, or Breaking Benjamin - Dear God, somehow these bands have made themselves famous by being awesome metal bands, but the truth is, not only do they all sound the exact same, but there music is horrible. I mean seriously, I'm almost certain that no of them writes their own music, all of the guys in the band can play, but not that well, just enough to create music. Anyone can distort an amplifier and strum a guitar. It is so bad, yet on the rock radio station, these bands are fucking playing one after another. 10 years, Papa Roach, Evan's Blue, Chevelle, all are basically the same band with a different name. Jesus Christ how I hope this fad dies out.

Lastly, I encourage everyone to try and listen to new things instead of what you hear on the radio. There are so many awesome bands that are out there that don't make it on the radio. All genre's of music (except country), and as for rap music, I suggest going back to old school shit from the 80's & 90's like Wu Tang Clan, N.W.A, Big L, and all the other guys who actually rapped. The same can be said for old rock, but fuck, stay away from these bands that are so shallow and disappointing.

A Life in Movies

The 84th annual Academy Awards just wrapped up, and besides Billy Crystal being a dick...the show was pretty good. I thought the people who won each award were deserving. I love movies, I try to watch all different types of movies, the good ones, the bad ones, funny or sad ones, they all can be great in their own way. But for several movies, I can't help to think what it would be like if certain situation's were real. 

Thrillers and scary movies tend to be the worst about this. My question is, when something that crazy or fucking scary happens to you, how in the hell do you come back from something like that! I mean honestly, take a movie like Transformers or more recently Paranormal Activity 3. If a situation actually did happen like it does in Transformers, how the hell do you lead a normal life after that, not to mention you have the greatest story topper ever. That movie takes place in like a week, what the hell would you do the next week. Can you walk up to one of your buddies or co-workers and be like, "you will not fucking believe what happened to me last week.." Then casually precede to tell him how you had rockets being shot at you by 30 foot tall space robots, who were blowing the entire city to smithereens. If someone were to come up and tell you that with a straight face, it would probably be pretty tough to be like "oh nice, well I just sat around watching football all weekend, you know, pretty laid back." No that is impossible! Not to mention that the person who had that wild weekend would probably be traumatized for the rest of their life. You can even walk down the street anymore with out having some sort of Vietnam flashback. To make matters worse, how about a scary movie? All the paranormal movies scared the shit out of me. Especially in the movie theaters where the sound makes everything 20x worse. In the third one, there are survivors (I promise that doesn't really ruin the movie for those who haven't seen it), so for those survivors, how do you go day to day with out pure anxiety every time you walk into a house. Like, "I got dragged down the fucking stair case last night by something demonic...it was crazy, but after that I made spaghetti for the family, then watched The Big Bang Theory." No, that happens once and you're done for, there will never be another time in your life where you don't try to  sprint your ass up the stairs in fear for your life, it just doesn't happen. 

I'm trying to avoid the obvious question's that people ask when watching epic films, like "how did they survive that" or "why don't they just run away". I get those questions, but it's fucking Hollywood, do you know how boring a movie would be if in a scary movie someone just got in their car and drove 100 miles away. I think I have made my point. But I think one thing that is interesting is in comedy movies, and how often the funny parts are derived from certain people getting injured. In Old School (one of my favorites) Will Ferrell gets shot with a dart, and burnt in a ring of fire. Granted, in the movie it was damn hilarious, but if that actually happened in real life...probably not so funny. No man wants to get a swift kick to the balls, yet when they show it in movies it is so funny. I find that interesting that comedies have the ability to make serious situations funny, or injuries seem enjoyable. In reality, those situations are only funny on the big screen, not so much in real life. 

These are just fun questions to think about, but the truth is I don't really care one way or another. The fact that a movie can draw you in, and make you believe, want, and think is what makes any movie so enjoyable

Surviving the Apocalypse

Right now one of my favorite shows on TV is The Walking Dead, if you don't watch it I would suggest catching the fuck up because it is a really good show. But....if you are unfamiliar I will give you the quick run down. Basically what has happened is there is a group of people that are followed on the show, who have survived a zombie apocalypse and are now fighting for survival, and looking for a way out. There is a lot more that goes into it, but I figure that you can paint your own picture. After watching this for quite some time...I have thought to myself, could I survive a zombie apocalypse with the skills and knowledge that I have possessed over the years? I think it's an interesting question and I also believe that a lot of people have thought the same question. If it were me, this is what I would do...

Just assuming that I had a bit of time to prepare...not even a lot, but maybe a news flash that said people were getting their faces ripped off by other people run for your fucking life, so that maybe I had a couple hours to brace myself I would start like this. First and foremost, the obvious things...try to gather with my close friends and family, get as many guns and weapons as possible. Then I would go rob the fuck out a liquor store, followed by a gun store so we could further equip ourselves. Tell everyone to get in a car, pack as much as they can, head to the nearest Sam's Club, and start my fortress there. 

Sam's Club would be the perfect fort! it can hold several people, they have a shit load of food, beds, clothing, literally just about whatever you need. Not to mention that place is big enough to where if shit goes down, you can still make a run for it. For the record, just because it can hold a lot of people...doesn't necessarily mean I would just let any schmuck into the place. I figure once we have the place boarded up and secure, that if people come knocking that they would have to pass qualifications first. If you're fat, automatically out. Not only are you a liability for when we have to run, but you take up a lot of space, and you eat too much, sorry. As for all the women, it depends honestly...you have to promise to only hold/shoot a weapon if you have shot a gun at least 3 times before, and you have to swear on your life that in any situation you will never...and I mean never, drive. We can't afford to making careless mistakes like that, and letting a woman hop in that driver seat is doomed for failure. For everyone else rules vary, if you're wearing Ed Hardy, or Affliction...no, if you can't bring anything positive to the group...no, ginger...no, and if you still dodge all of those problems...then you're probably good. After that a couple rules goes as following...don't be a hero, but also don't be a pussy, live by the motto "he who runs lives to fight another day", which basically means if you're scared get the fuck out of there. Shoot anything dead, and for goodness sake's don't accidentally shoot somebody in the group, that's why I won't have a gun, a pistol at most, but I'm skiddish in certain situation's. I'd prefer to be a leader who carries a beat stick around. These are just some of the simple and basic rules that are required if you want to make it through the zombie infestation. 

In my head I have a vision that I would survive a zombie apocalypse. I think I also take into consideration that   zombie's could only lightly jog at best, rather than the one's on 28 Days Later, who can sprint like a mother fucker. In the end, if things did get too bad...that's why my second order of business was to rob a liquor store, I would have one last hurrah, get wasted, grab the biggest guns I could find, and charge into the battlefield.

p.s there is a tool called the fubar, it is a real thing, and after heavy persuasion from one of my former professors...I am convinced that this is the greatest tool besides a firearm to kill a zombie. 

We're all Drunks

Happy Fat Tuesday everybody. Actually I don't really give a shit, because the truth is despite this originally being  an eve to a religious event, Mardi Gras turned into a place where people make bad decisions, get wasted, and under aged girls sign up for Girls Gone Wild and make even worse decisions. Again though, I don't really give a shit because if people wanted to, they could do this everyday! There are a million reason's why people drink..and they don't need some stupid holiday to let them be able to. Even now, these are legitimate reason's why I drink, and I know that most people feel the same.

- Had a hard day
- Had a long day
- Had a tough practice
- It's Thursday, which means it's almost Friday...so it's practically the weekend
- It's Wednesday...it's hump day! half way through the week
- Monday's you drink because it's Monday and it's the start of the week
- Tuesday's because your still trying to get over how shitty Monday was
- The weekends are a given...
- Cause you're bored
- Because your mad, sad, glad, confused, frustrated, pissed, annoyed, or any other shallow emotion you can feel
-  The weather is either too hot, cold, windy, rainy, snowy (a word?), or any other thing mother nature hands us, so you might as well stay inside and booze.
- Playing video games
- Because we won our game this weekend
- Because we lost our game this weekend
- Everyone else is doing it?
- A holiday is coming up, and your fixing to go on a family vacation so you want to party with your friends before you leave
- A holiday is coming up, and your fixing to go home from school, so you want to party with your friends before y'all ride in the car together to go back home.
- (For two answers directly above) Party when you arrive back in your own town, or when you make your return
- Cause you hate your life
- Because your girlfriend/boyfriend broke up with you
- Because you got a good grade on a test
- Lastly, and my favorite because people have said this so many times!..."I'm drinking tonight because I have a lot of shit I need to take care of that's coming up pretty soon, and I'm not sure when is the next time I'm going to get to party like this.."

The list could go on forever. The truth is, is that for some reason some people have to make an excuse for why they are drinking, when the truth is everyone just likes to get a little fucked up from time to time, and I can't blame them. From now on just grab a beer to grab a beer...no excuses. Just simply because you're trying to catch a little buzz before you do it all over again the next day.

Thinking about what you Think

How many times have you been engaged in conversation and you think, "wow, what this person is saying right now is really weird..". Maybe it's not even conversation, but maybe something someone is doing, or wearing that makes you think how normal you seem to be. I'm sure everyone has at least one case of that happening because I certainly have.

Often I realize I spend a lot of time in my own head. Thinking, trying to remember what I need to do, obscure thoughts that come across my mind, or sometimes just basically talking to myself in my own head. When it comes down to it, blogs like this are basically my thoughts being put into words to share it with people, right? I think many people do this, and the only thing that separates "weird" people from people that appear to be "normal" are whether or not these thoughts actually reach the surface, where as some people just keep that sort of thing stored away. I truly believe this is how I am, and I am just wondering does everyone do this sort of thing? If you're having trouble understanding, let me share some very weird examples to you and see if we can relate.

One thing that I tend to do all the time is, see how quietly I can go up a flight of stairs but still go up them quickly? Like I am training to be a fucking ninja or something? I don't know why I do it, but it gets bad enough to where sometimes after reaching the top of the stairs, I actually acknowledge my stealthiness. As if I actually walked up to someone and was like "hey did you see how swift I was going up the stairs there?" They would probably just stare blankly at me, and depending on how badly their day was going would justify their actions to push me back down that flight of stairs, casually walk down them themselves call me a fucking weirdo, and spit on my injured body.

This also happens when I am driving. For instance, when traffic is slightly heavy, but just enough for you to weave through it if you were in a hurry. It is that few minute span when you're weaving through a bit of traffic and realize that you reached the front of that pack...That I feel like I just pulled of the greatest driving stunt since David Hasselhoff in Knight Rider. Like not even Jeff Gordon could have done that shit if he was in that same situation, when in reality I was doing 24mph blowing past 6 cars doing 22mph because we were in a school zone. Not to mention I could see each individual face for 30 seconds as I was switching lanes through the "pack", but still I pulled off the stare down...Like did you see what I did there...that's right, no blinker, and then I zoom off!

One last one that seems to frequently occur is my own secret competitions with people. Maybe in the classroom setting when a question is asked I am the first one to raise my hand. Whether I am called on is totally irrelevant, but the fact that my hand was numero uno is a win in itself. Or driving again, when you and a car are in the front of a stop light, and you and some stranger have a Fast and the Furious moment. The other person doesn't need to know, but when I beat them to that first light pole...my God that is always a huge victory. 

Even writing all this seems weird because all these things are what go on in my head, but I never actually say it. I want to know if the people who read this do any bizarre things like that? Like I said, even just reading this back to myself and I am thinking good God what kind of freak show do I have going on in my brain. Am I secretly fucking weird myself...or is this what a lot people also do and choose not to say anything?

We the Viewers...

You know as you grow up, and even when you reach adulthood you stumble across those people who have a dying passion for something that seems a little ridiculous. Like when you see those college students cry in the crowd after their school football team lost. Or when you see a stream of Facebook posts from girls, who are still pissed about who the bachelor chose to wed. Like after 12 seasons or whatever, people still don't know that show is completely staged. There are just certain things that happen in life where people seem to get so emotional, but in reality that specific event really doesn't do a lot of justice, and to all those people who stress about reality TV, and sporting events, I can assure you...that next day, is going to be exactly like the one day before, and the one before that. Now don't get me wrong, I have been guilty of this before. I was torn when the U.S.A lost in the World Cup, or when Nickelodeon stopped airing Doug. Those are fairly legit reasons right? Not really...because at the end of the day, by me being extremely angry, or upset, my emotions will not directly effect the outcome in any sort of way. I mean in high school there were people in the stands crying when our high school football team lost in playoffs (and yes, I am calling those people out because it is embarrassing and shameful). It is fucking high school! sure prom was fun, but when people still reflect on that as one of the greatest, and most glamorous nights of their life? yikes... 

The important thing to understand is that things like sports, TV shows we really need to just enjoy them for what they are. Cheer and support a team (GO UNITED!), but when they lose, or things don't go their way...don't cry, or throw chairs, or beat your girlfriend. It's not like your on the team! In fact, those teams don't even know that you are a fan, so by you cheering or booing it really doesn't matter. it's fun...but don't take it over the top. All your doing is embarrassing yourself. To make matters worse...if you don't actually play sports, but you "know everything there is to know about the sport", or your that "number 1" fan who paints up and goes to all of the games with out a shirt on so you can drink, and showoff how fat you are to only prove the only thing you could beat me in is having a heart attack first, you are the worst! These are the guys who still live the high school dream...and constantly bring up  the times when they were the 3rd string punter on their state championship high school team. When you see these guys at the national championship football games, in the crowd going on their 9th year of college and still have a semester left, who are crying when their team loses! Oh it's embarrassing!! and hilarious because you know that your not that guy (at least I hope not). 

 NOTE: if you have a parent, brother, or relative..or an absolute best friend...not like a 'friend' that you had chemistry with and you borrowed a pencil once, and now that he is the starting right guard for the football team..you two are somehow BFF's...but and actual  very good friend, then and only then does the rules of controlling your emotions become void, and at that time you have every right to riot, cry, laugh, or whatever it may be pending the result. 

As for TV shit. 90% of all TV is bullshit. Again don't get me wrong, I am heavily addicted and watch the shit out of all the worst TV show's. But when, people lose on The Amazing Race or get kicked off of The Challenge. Don't be that person that cries for them, or is pissed because "they should have won". this sort of behavior is more embarrassing than when sports fans get out of control. I am not trying to be sexist...but this sort of behavior you find mostly in girls. The kind of girl who judges each girl on 16 and pregnant, and thinks that it wouldn't even be a competition if they were on The Bachelor. Then they post that on Facebook or Twitter. An update that is on the lines of something like, "Ohhhhh myyy God! (insert name) is such a slut I can't believe the bachelor guy chose her over her...p.s sorority meeting tonight with the chicas luv yall!!" Then the next day you see some sort of religious quote from that same person... like they actually attend church regularly "Let only God judge people, for he is my savior" proverbs 11:23, or some shit like that, clearly I am not a church goer.  

Like I said though I am incredibly guilty of the sports thing...and so are the majority of all people, but I don't understand how society came to be that way. We got non athletes rioting in the street because their team won the Stanley Cup. Girls who should have a "free hand jobs" sign at parties every weekend who in turn yell at the TV when someone on the Real World has a threesome in the spa...like their the whores. The point is, I'm not even mad at the hypocrisy, judging, over emotional, brain dead people that walk among this earth. I find it very embarrassing yet incredibly entertaining, and fuck, that is why I get so much joy out of watching TV and sports. It's people like that that can make life more enjoyable

The Right kind of Player

Nothing really interesting has come up for me to blog about besides Floyd Mayweather being one of the most ignorant and intolerant people on this planet, but if he were the topic I think the blog would be done right here. So I decided to do a follow up on all the overrated or unwanted players in each respected sport, by discussing guys who I think everyone who would want to have as that glue that holds a team together. Maybe their not the guy who shows up on ESPN every night or wins every award, but their the guy that superstars thank day in and day out that they were apart of their team. So...here we go... 

In the NBA, I am a big fan of the guy who is consistent on both sides of the court, and the guy who stays out of trouble off the court, and most importantly (or at least hopefully) the guys who make millions of dollars who are broke as fuck two years after retirement. 

Shane Battier - That wrinkle headed former dukie does everything he is supposed to, especially when it comes to playing man on man defense against every big name player. His performance was second to none when he squared off against Kobe Bryant in the playoffs a few years back. He is a team leader and a superb role player. 

Zach Randolph/Kevin Love/Al Jefferson - There might be more but I particularly like these guys because they put up solid numbers every single night. With the exception of ZR who is out for the season with injury, the other two average well over a double double, and they both play on very average teams. Randolph punished Duncan and the Spurs last year and would have been elite again this year if it weren't for injury. 

James Harden/Serge Ibaka - With no disrespect to Durant and Westbrook (even though I hate that fuck), Harden and Ibaka to me are the reasons that Thunder maintain such dominance this season. Both Durant and Westbrook are the faces of OKC, but James Harden would probably be a superstar are any other team he played for. As for Serge? the man is like a more athletic Dikembe Mutombo...all he needs now is a cool gesture after he packs someone's shit when driving the lane. (Mutombo had the finger-wave). My suggestion? the suck it sign...like x-pac when he wrestled for d-generation x. Granted a bit bold and unprofessional, but my God would it be intimidating. 

In the NFL again it is all about the hard workers...the guys who don't need a huge paycheck after one good season. 

Hines Ward - sure the man is getting old now, but for a receiver he is one of the dirtiest in the league...which is awesome! If you go look at 95% of the receivers in the NFL their idea of blocking is having a tickle fight with the corner opposite of them. Hines Ward works hard whether the ball is coming his way or he blocking Ray Lewis. It doesn't matter he is going to do what it takes to make sure his team wins. *sidenote: the guy has no ACL in one of his knees...I'm not even sure how he can play but regardless it is pretty impressive. 

The good offensive linemen - these guys are so under-appreciated that I don't even know their names myself. These guys are the reason often running backs are so dominant, and QB's have the stats they do. Nothing more needs to be said...there the heart of the team. 

Ed McCaffrey - Yeah I know he is retired, but back in his heyday, not only was he dominant on Blitz but the man didn't drop a pass. John Elway and Mike Shanahan were the sickest fucks in the NFL. Shanahan would call crossing routes down the middle for this guy, while John Elway would lead his pass just enough for Ed to catch it, but to get  absolutely destroyed upon catching it. Poor Ed, he probably can't even walk anymore...the only receiver I ever respected for wearing all his leg pads. 

Again with baseball...who honestly gives a fuck. For the guys working hard...if you were good enough to be a "hard worker" you wouldn't be thirty pounds over weight rotting in the minor leagues. 

Soccer was a bit tricky, cause a lot of the guys who are vital for teams I honestly hate. 

Raul/Inzaghi/Klose/Kuyt(aka sloth from The Goonies)/Hernandez - Besides Raul and Chicharito, I can't stand any of these other guys. Most of them can't remember the last time they scored a goal just shooting the ball. All these players practically live offsides, don't show up for a game for 87 minutes, but seem to score either in the most important of times, or all the time on some shitty goal. These guys also play on the most elite of teams, so as much I hate them, I would want them on my team. 

Skrtel/Kompany/Keane(I'm talking Roy not that pussy Robbie)/Vieira - Or any other guy on the field that when push comes to shove, or maybe a little scuffle breaks out on the field...these are the guys I want behind me because I am pretty sure that 3/4 of these guys have actually killed a man on the field and scared the ref too much for him to do anything. 

Claude Makalele- The biggest reason Real Madrid and Chelsea were successful when they were winning titles. I don't care who you said was on their team back then, if you watch those games...than man could hold the entire field, box-to-box all by himself. 

I am sure I missed some, but what is important is to understand that there are some players that deserve more credit than they're given. Also I apologize for any grammatical or spelling errors, it's early and I'm too tired to go back through it. 

The Things we Truly Need

Recently I was sitting in class when the topic of education was brought up. One of the biggest concerns among my other classmates was technology over powering the roots of education. I completely understand that...now days with the i-phone, i-pad, calculators, and advancements in computer software have made pencil and paper seem completely useless. All these reason's I get, I really do. I mean hell, it seems every time I write something down not only has my penmanship dropped immensely, but my hand starts cramping after I write my name and date on the paper. With that understanding, my fellow class mates (98% whom are older, and most have kids already) are deeply concerned with what their children and other students will be learning because they claim that with technology now kids aren't understanding how to properly write, or do fundamental math. For this argument I kind of get.

My plea against this is, as I reflect on the information I have obtained through my grade school years...Almost none of the material has been useful in my life. Never once did I say, "Thank God I knew what the 10th element was on the periodic table (its neon by the way) or I would have never known what to when I was trying to get jobs, or get into college." Or "good thing I did D.A.R.E when I was in elementary, of God only knows where I would have been right now..." 

In math, as a high school student you learn what a proof is. Basically a proof is something you use in geometry or something (I didn't do well in math) that you spend more time drawing little branches to get to the end of the problem, only to find out that your answer was on the page from the beginning, and all you did was make it look like a tree. Or why do I need to know about the colonization of China during the Ming dynasty? Am I being quizzed for jeopardy later this evening? Or is that question frequently asked under emergency contacts when your filling out job application forms? 

If you ask me I say let the kids be technologically gifted! who the fuck writes hand-written paper's anymore? Not to mention, when is the last time you heard someone getting rich for being a great historian? probably never..those arrogant know-it-all's are just pricks who sucked at sports, so they plunged their face into a book to learn about something that no one really cares about. Instead you got guys like Mark Zuckerberg who are filthy rich, why? Because instead of reading Great Expectation's by Charles Dickens (who is probably one of the most boring writer's God has accidentally put on this earth), which was written in the 1860's and discussing why Pip was constantly masturbating at the thought of Estella and how Ms. Havisham was secretly a pedophile, he was on his computer writing code for one of today's most exposed websites in the world! He became successful because he said fuck school, color-coding maps of pre world war I Europe will not do shit for me. Other recent successors Steve Jobs (R.I.P dude), Mark Cuban, Steven Spielberg, the Star Wars guy, and Bill Gates are all extremely wealthy because they know that we live in a technology based world, and understanding the in's and out's of it all is what has become most important.    

Let's face it, our education system is incredibly flawed...we teach so that kid's do well on the TAKS test so teachers and school look "good". But as mentioned, the information that we have learned and continue to learn are only beneficial on a game show or on a high school test. Don't get me wrong, yes, things like how to spell, speak, add, subtract, a few of the basics, but after that we need to teach for what is important. Actual decent information that kids can carry with them. Like how to use a computer properly, type faster, how to properly format a paper, and for God's sake, teach a child how to read. Nothing is worse than sitting in 11th grade English class with all your friends and some stuttering Stanley gets called to read and his reading turns into a group effort because he spelled words like 'February', 'Febewary" and no one said anything, so now every time that dipshit reads not only is embarrassing for him, but its annoying and boring for everyone else. So please, don't let our faulty education system create people like I just mentioned. And please, let's figure this education system thing so America doesn't continue to become less and less intelligent. 

p.s thanks to technology I was able to write on this stupid blog. If this would have been hand-written, my paper would have read...title: educational flaws. body: Fuck our education system!...the end. 

Are you that Good?

Every single season in every sport there are guys that are considered "elite" status or on the verge of finally proving their worth that they are premier players. But there are certain names on those list that GM's and coaches need to avoid. 

In the NBA the top 5 over rated or liable players to have on your team are...(in no particular order)

1. Carmelo Anthony

2. Russell Westbrook

3. Monta Ellis

4. Kevin Martin 

5. DeMarcus Cousins 

Carmelo Anthony, a selfish player who shoots the ball way too much. He is 99th in the league for field goal % and 12th in attempts. All this proves is that he is player who thinks he can take over a game when he really can't. He was supposed to be a blockbuster trade this year when he headed to the Knickerbockers, but their record certainly show that he is not capable of carrying a team, even when he has another all-star in Amare Stoudamire. I wouldn't want him, and I'm thinking that the Knicks GM is also considering the same thing.

Keven Martin and Monta Ellis are almost in the same category as Carmelo with the exception that both of them are those players on the "verge" of being elite. They shoot the ball way too much, often streaky, and play 0 defense. Result: Both play on very average teams, and are not those players who can take their team to the next level. They are players who think they are all-stars when all they really are exceptional role players. "But they are top 25 in scoring!?!?" Well, they are also barely in the top 100 in FG%, and top 15 in attempts. PASS THE FUCKING BALL AND QUIT SHOOTING SO MUCH.

Russell Westbrook is suffering from superiority complex syndrome. Granted, yes, he is a very good point guard who is very capable and to me seems like a young Allen Iverson. His downfall? He thinks he is number one when really he is the Thunders number 2. He will forever live and die in the shadow of Oklahoma City's main man, Kevin Durant. Until Westbrook accepts that, he will be a cancer to the the Thunder for the fact that he often tries to take over too much when he really should be giving it to the Durantula. 

DeMarcus Cousins is someone I believe that can outshine the likes of Blake Griffin, Kevin Love, and LeMarcus Aldridge. Averaging 15 ppg, 12 rpg, and 1.5 bpg. Maybe those stats don't quite meet the other three's stats, Cousins is only a sophomore. He is averaging more blocks and rebounds than sophomore Blake Griffin. His problem is that mother fucker think he is playing basketball in prison. The man leads the league in fouls, and is like 3rd or 4th in technicals. He just has no regard for anyone's safety in the paint, which don't get me wrong...I love aggression and physical play in the NBA, but good lord have some sort of defensive awareness. 

Aright so I got carried away with the NBA players, but their in season right now so I figured they deserved a bit more of the spot light. Some other names in sports that I would argue have these problems are...(again in no order). 

NFL:

1. Tony Romo - good but very inconsistent

2. Santonio Holmes - Thinks he is Calvin Johnson 

3. Philadelphia Eagles - Andy Reid's faith in mobile QB's 

4. Mark Sanchez - for some reason people think he is good? I am honestly still confused by this cause he fucking sucks. 

5. James Harrison/Phillip Rivers/Edelman (that white db for the pats?) - guys who talk countless amounts of shit and often get fined, get burnt play after play, or just kind of suck when things get important. 

6. Tim Tebow - for all the bible thumpers, girls who think he is good cause he's "hot", people who are big band wagon people, and ignorant people who think it's cool to "Tebow", let's get this straight...he fucking sucks. He can't throw, and he won a playoff game that he would lose 99 out of 100 times, and now with the loss of their defensive coordinator he is going to do about as well as JaMarcus Russell did for the Raiders. 

Soccer: 

1. Peter Crouch - Could be a force in the air, but prefers to play grab ass with every guy in the box instead. 

2. Johnny Evans - a young kid who thinks playing defense means injuring anyone that comes across his path. 

3. Mario Balotelli - Someone with enormous talent, but chooses to be a retard and a little bitch both on and off the field, who still struggles putting his own penny's on.  

4. Pinto - somehow the second string goalie for Barcelona...I mean if you can find a highlights of him doing good things...feel free to show me...

5. Neymar - this is a bit of stretch...and I can understand how people disagree, but until he gets into a bigger league..he just looks like the next Robinho or Ricardo Quaresma...a very flashy player who never lived up to the hype.

and finally...

MLB: Ever since Ken Griffey jr. and Kenny Lofton left the game...I honestly couldn't give a shit who plays for what team, or who is capable of what.  

The Great Debate

Often one of the most controversial topics that people share among each other is politics. Fox news is Republican, CNN is Democratic, and people never really seem to be satisfied with who is in the office. Now, I don't really know a whole lot about the details of politics and everything, but it seems to me that any president that was ever quoted as "a good president" got shot, or shot at. Everyone watches the news, or a channel that talks politics, but whenever they talk about it it's always bullshit or propaganda. Which humors me because there are so many people who spend so much of their time reading and watching news only to piss them off for the entire day, vent to someone about, feel better, and then  do it all over again tomorrow. 

The truth of the matter is, is that regardless of what you think or do, in the end it is not going to matter. Taxes will go up, jobs will be lost, and people in the military are still going to shipped out. I think the problem is the people who protest either a. can't enunciate well enough while chanting, or b. their penmanship needs improvements on all their signs. That's a lie, but sometimes I like to think that that is politicians excuse for not listening. 

I am from Texas, and even with out knowing a single thing about politics I can tell you this. Regardless of my vote and my thoughts on who is running this god forsaken country my vote DOES NOT matter. 

I know that is one of those golden phrases that makes certain people want to choke me out the second the sentence leaves my mouth. But let's face it, Texas isn't a swing state. I could get a 1,000,000 people to vote democrat who usually vote republican and when I watch the news during voting Texas will show up red (surprise surprise...). Look at it anyway you want, but the fact of the matter is, is that Texas is a red state and my vote isn't changing its color. 

"But your ancestor's fought and died for your right to vote!" I know they did, and I am grateful for that. They  also fought and died for me to bare arms, but I hate guns and believe that outside of hunting they shouldn't be used. Does that make me unpatriotic? Not to mention, like I stated before even if I do opt to exercise my right to vote...all that does for me is waste time in my day so that I can walk into a photo-booth and write Lord Voldemort down as my President. And even when I do write him down, unfortunately Texas isn't going to swing because I thought the Tom Riddle himself preached the right things. 

In the end this is why politics are such a controversial topic. Now that Obama is in the office Republicans say things like, he's only a good speaker, he is a communist, or he is the Anti-Christ. Democrats respond, well he is better than that coke-head Bush, that inbred Texan could barely get through a speech with out forgetting while he was up there. Then R's respond, well he was better than that pervert Clinton, which is countered by recognizing Bill's superiority to George W's retard dad. And as if I haven't gotten my point across far enough, the argument just continues in a spiraling and pathetic case until both parties head's explode with anger. However the one positive is that eventually, if the argument continues down the line we will reach common ground. Both Democrats and Republicans can conclude that our wooden toothed, drunken, fake haired, first president, who lived on some fake mountain must have been the greatest president to ever touch American soil! I give you Mr. George Washington! My argument for all politics is we need to find someone that fits those qualities and we will once again be officially united. 

If none of that satisfies you just remember Republicans for Lord Voldemort! 

An Obscurely Sane Situation

So Jon Ronson, author of the book The Psychopath Test, has been a superb book thus far and though it is my first Ronson story, I must say I am quite fond of his writing ability. In this book, Ronson tells the story from a first person prospective (Jon Ronson himself being the narrator), and he embarks on his adventure as a journalist speaking with psychologist, psychiatrist's, Scientology leaders, and any other doctor that might deal with someone who is, well, not quite right. One of his stories early on in the book has recently sent me into long periods of thought and dilemma. (I am going to try to do my best to not completely ruin the story). A very broad synopsis of what took place is, this guy named Tony, once got into some trouble and he was going to head to prison. At a young age, Tony was hesitant to go to prison and realized he had to get out. This is the part that has had my brain warped like a bad acid trip. He decided that he would FAKE his way into making the court and the doctors that he was insane by plagiarizing movies that involved "crazy" people e.g A Clockwork Orange. Tony being an apparently swell actor, pulled it off, avoided prison and was sent to a mental institute.

Well played right? Wrong. Tony was from what seemed so good at what he did that by the time he tried to speak with his doctors about getting out, they told him that he was not okay. So ironically, Tony, a normal guy  could fake his way into a hospital, however, when trying to be himself, normal, he could not get out.

Crazy I know. I was equally blown away by the circumstances, but then I started to think...if you were to walk up to a stranger assuming they were normal (only 1% of the world is labeled a psychopath so your odds are good) and told them to prove to them that they were normal, what would they say? For better argument, what would you say? Not to mention Tony is already accused of being mentally unhealthy. What would the first words be out of your mouth if someone were to approach you and ask to prove your sanity?

At first I thought that would be simple. Perhaps my name or something I enjoy doing, you know, a normal thing. But then I thought about if that is what other people would say? are my own thoughts sane one's? When I tell people information does it seem honest and true? How does my face look? Crazy? Normal? Confused? And question after question can be poured out of this ridiculous scenario but it made me realize a few things.

1.) It is bizarre to me that we have a diagnosis for what people who are crazy, psycho, insane, whatever you want to call it have a definition for them. They can be labeled and persecuted yet the definition for normal (normal state of mind, or having similar state of mind as general population..thanks Wikipedia) seems incredibly broad and vague.

2.) It is a lot easier to act crazy than act normal.

3.) From the looks of it, crazy people are getting a bad wrap.

4.) Thank you Jon Ronson for hitting me with an absolute mind-fuck.

p.s read the book The Psychopath Test it is really really good...for normal people.