To the Bottom of the Totem Pole we will go

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This link here will blow your mind. The idea in this video is well thought, creative, and incredibly intelligent. Astrophysicist, Neil Degrasse Tyson is the speaker in the video and he discusses the idea of how life could have been potentially created on earth because of mars. He further explains the idea of how human and chimpanzee relationship's are so very close (separated by only 1% by DNA), yet at the same time so far apart. Furthermore, Tyson goes on to discuss the idea of a being, or alien, that might only be 1% different than us, but in the continuing direction, and the scale or magnitude of their intelligence, and how much greater intellectually they would be compared to us. As he mentioned, think about it like a alien child or toddler being able to perform at the same intelligence level as Stephen Hawking. He describes this idea as fascinating, I describe it as fucking scary. 


In a perfect scenario, yes, the idea of super cool aliens hovering down and telling us about all the greatest questions, and teaching us all the unanswered things we are still trying to learn would be totally cool. At the same time though, these martians could be the naughty kid who hovers over ants with a magnifying glass. If that were the case things wouldn't even be fair. Your most intelligent thought, whether it was an attacking or defensive strategy would be a joke to them. They would laugh and then murder you dead. Our military would be blown to smithereens in a matter of seconds. Not even John Rambo would be able to fight this battle, and he fought of the entire country of Vietnam in an hour and half.  To make matters worse, imagine if they were not violent creatures, yet still obtained the 1% greater intelligence than humans. Do you have any idea how demoralizing that would be! Any time you came of with a cool idea, a funny joke, or a cool drinking game...they would be able to one up you right away! Human's would have to be pumped full of Prozac just so that they could make it through the day with out offing themselves. The confidence levels of even the most arrogant pricks would be submerged in an pool of much greater intelligence. God only knows if they were more athletic. There would have to be segregated sports among species. Alien slam dunk contest's would have to be held outside so their vertical wouldn't be limited to the roof, and football fields would have to be 400 yards long. Michael Jordan in his prime would have looked like Luke Walton, Pele' like This year's Andy Carroll, Tiger Woods like John Daly, and Mia Hamm like...every other women athlete? Anyways, the point is we would be the laughing stock of society, and there would be nothing fun about meeting these new species from across the universe. The idea is marvelous and Respect to Mr. Neil Tyson for his eagerness to find these soul suckers, but I prefer to live in a universe where we are the only intelligent being.

The New Orleans Saints

Last week, the New Orleans Saints speculation of a bounty scandal were busted wide open with an exclusive "motivational speech" from coach Gregg Williams. Now, there is no doubt that some of the things he said were pretty fucked up, but I spent some time thinking about this whole thing, and though I don't agree with my own thoughts, I do find it interesting way of looking at it.

The bounty scandal, for those who don't know, was a set up in the New Orleans organization where coaches were paying players to injure certain players on the field. You take Tom Brady out of the game, here is 15,000 bucks, simple as that. The way I see it, the way that analyst and media portray and word the bounty scandal that was taking place influences viewers to see it in a negative light. To me, I don't agree with it, especially after hearing the speech and everything, I think it's obviously frowned upon to tell someone to go after someone with previous concussions, or attack someones ACL. However, I believe that it is only morally wrong that the Saints did this, not necessarily legally wrong and this is why...

The New Orleans Saints were top 9th in the league for penalty yards according to ESPN, which seems bad, but the majority of those came from the offensive side of the ball. Secondly, I tried to find players who got suspended but found nothing on players from New Orleans being suspended specifically for dirty hits on players. Which raises the original question, is the bounty scandal more immoral than illegal? Think about it, that's like suspending players for doing their job too well. They're not getting flagged during the game for illegal hits, yet now they are in trouble for hitting guys legally as hard as they can, but isn't that supposed to be their job in the first place? Now, someone is paying them small amounts of money (compared to the salary they make) to give them incentive to play as hard as they can on every down. If they were getting in fights, and stomping on people's heads in between plays and stuff then this whole thing would be illegal and immoral, but it seems to me that the Saints are just playing the sport like they are supposed to, unfortunately, because it is a contact sport guys do get injured. But them getting paid extra money out of pocket for doing their job doesn't seem illegal, just simply frowned upon. It's not taking money away from the NFL, and it's a crafty and dark way of keeping guys motivated.

I'm not saying that I agree with this thought at all, but I do find it interesting the way the media is portraying the entire "bountygate" thing. It seems to me like video taping practices, anyone who acts like James Harrison, or steroids should be taken more seriously than this, according to how I thought about it. What do you think?

Here's a guy...

I know right now that the NFL talks are all about the bounty scandal, Andrew Luck, RG3, and Peyton Manning in Denver now, but one story recently popped up that sort of made headlines, but didn't quite as much as an impact as it should have. I'm talking about LSU's top defensive back, Morris Claiborne. There is no doubt that Morris Claiborne is a beast, and that he will probably go top 10 in the NFL draft this year. That sounds great right? Well, little fun fact is that this guy managed to score a gentleman's 4 on the Wunderlich test this year. For those of you who don't know what this test is let me explain: Basically the Wunderlich test is a 50 question test that test's basic knowledge...sort of like an IQ test, but for dumb people. The average score for the NFL is a 24, and the national American average is a 26 or 27. This guy, Mr. Claiborne made a fucking 4 on the test. You wanna know what kind of question's are on this test. Here you go:

What number comes next in the number sequence:
8     4     2     1     1/2     1/4     ...

What is the ninth month in a standard calendar year?

assuming the first two sentences are true, what is the third one?
all baseball player's wear hats. all boys play baseball. all boys wear hats


A pad of paper cost 40 cents. You need to buy 4 pads of paper. How much money do you need to purchase 4 pads or paper?

There are several more obviously, but I can assure you that no question gets much harder than that. According to the test, a score of 10 is just considered literate. He got a 4! I knew Vince Young was retarded, and he got a 6! that's like getting a 100 point test back from a teacher and realizing that you got an 8 (12 for Young). Fuck the average person could probably be given a blank scantron, no test, blindly mark 50 answers and score higher than a 4.

So this simple Jack, is now going to be filthy rich when that retard can probably barely spell his name. I mean honestly, do you really think that Morris actually had the grades in high school to get into LSU in the first place? Then receive a full scholarship where he doesn't have to pay a dime, actually attend class and graduate with a degree! He scored a fucking 4 on the Wunderlich test. I know that doesn't justify who you are, but come one man, how did this guy even operate day to day, let alone play football. It has to be incredibly embarrassing for him, that is if he can even comprehend that people are laughing at him. But the frustrating thing is, he never paid for college, probably got paid extra money while he was there. I mean let's face it, I'm fairly certain that almost every school does that shit. Then he received a degree (probably in a major he isn't even aware exists). Finally, like I said, this guy is going to make millions. It's bullshit. I mean in the end, he will probably lose all of that money, because just like every other retarded athlete. This is the end. I mean need I say more...okay one last time, a fucking 4 out of 50. May God help us all.

Curiosity meets Cool

The title speaks for itself, I'm curious about a lot of things that people deem as cool or they love because a lot of it doesn't quite make sense to me...

Right now in Houston the weather is already getting increasingly hotter and it is only March. Now obviously there is some biased to this, but I never understand why people say that they love the cold weather. But when people are discussing where they might be going on a summer trip or spring break, people always reference how much they love cold weather. What is fun about pasty skin and a weathered look? Does anybody realize how many ugly people live up north because they have seen one too many harsh winter's? I can only assume that girls say they love the cold so that they have a reason to cover up their hideous bodies, and guy's say it so they have an excuse to wear a NorthFace jacket and pretend that their cool. Everybody can go lay out on the beach and enjoy the sun, but nobody ever talks about how they laid out on the snow to catch some cold. Lastly, for all the people that love to ski and snowboard because they say they are really good at it, basically what they are telling you is their family has a fuck load of money to spend on their child so they think they can play a "sport". If skiing and snowboarding were actually sports, black people would be playing and they would be better than all the rich white kids.

Another big, hip and cool thing that people do is openly express their love for independent movies. Donnie Darko for instance was a really a movie that tried really hard to create a story with a bunny, crashing airplanes, an actual brother and sister, Seth Rogen (yes, he plays a small role in that movie), people dying, a cool theme song, and tried to say that all created some twisted and beautiful story. For all you hipsters who claim that Donnie Darko is one of your favorite movies either are trying too hard to be different, or you have a horrible taste in movies. The same can go for movies like Napoleon Dynamite, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, The Royal Tenenbaums, and The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (R.I.P Heath). Those movies have horrible stories that people try to manipulate in order to make them cool, like they have some different train of thought that nobody else understands and therefore they feel superior because they spent 12 dollars to go see a shitty movie nobody else would.

The next thing I can assure you is that listening to country doesn't prove that you're a tough guy who isn't afraid to show a little emotion because you like the slow songs too. all it shows is that you like the sound of a dull guitar and lyrics that a 5th grader can write. Which brings me to the next topic, because this happens often in country music. Talking with an exaggerated southern drawl like your a "cowboy" isn't by any means cool or sexy. It's uneducated and fucking annoying. If you want to be part of a backwoods, inbred community, go to Kentucky or West Virginia. You can join the five other farmers left in America who still wear cowboy hats, have 4 teeth, think Blue Collar Comedy Tour is hilarious and argue there is no difference between their wife and cousin. Even further than that, if you enjoy talking like you grew up in "the hood" is equally unappreciated. That was moderately cool in the 90's and early 2000's, but then again so were tall T's, and grills. It sounds terrible, and certainly if that is the sort of thing your're into, then either you need to need to purchase Rosetta Stone's English CD pack, or Hooked on Phonics for those who feel Rosetta Stone is a little out of their league still.

Lastly, and I have already touched on this multiple times in previous blogs, and this sort of concludes the entire point of this blog by suggesting to be yourself, and not to try to be something your not. But don't support something you don't truly believe in, it drives me fucking crazy. Like all the people who really and truly devoted themselves to the Kony 2012 movement, was that fun for a whole week? Did you feel like you were part of a revolutionary movement? Or all the people who claim they support breast cancer. Do you really do something to try and help, or do you just like wearing a wristband that says 'boobs' on it? Nothing is worse than pretending to support something you don't cause you think people will think you are some sort of humanitarian.

I conclude by apologizing to those who truly do enjoy being ugly and cold, a shitty taste in movies, or a permanent speech impediment. I'm not knocking you, but I do feel bad for you. Lastly, to those who really do support movement and do something to help I thank you, because I probably don't make enough of an effort to do something. But here is a little fun fact, The guy who started the Kony movement? Claimed that he gained just over a million dollars and kept 900k in order to "further the movement". He isn't the only one, all those donation companies or movements, usually only send 10% of the money that is sent over there. So think about it next time you decide where your sending your money 

These are "Those" People

There was recently an article posted on Yahoo! that just proves how fucking retarded some people can be. The title of the article itself just proves this schmuck is a complete douche, "First Person: How to earn $100,000 and Still Feel Poor". This lady, Laura Cone, writes a short piece about how his family of 4 is "struggling" to make ends meet on a $100,000 salary, and how that might be the new minimum wage in America. First things first, this woman's writing sucked and all she did was get on a giant soap box, complain about everything (and who's surprised) financially, and attempt to throw a huge pity party for herself assuming that people might actually feel for her. She goes on to mention that she spends 1,000/month on groceries (I'm assuming she does the grocery shopping), but what she would really like is to eat at a 4 star restaurant every night, and that her two kids are going to community college, but what would be great is to be struggling to send them to an Ivy League school. Then she completes her job of looking like a total ass by saying they bought their son a new car to deliver pizza, and that they save 10% of their income for their saving investments. Oh yeah, they also carry no debt.

All this shows is how some people just can't manage their money, or let alone appreciate when they've got a good thing going. This ungrateful whore just so happen to makes her "pathetic" life public by somehow getting it on Yahoo!. The only defense to Laura is that there are so many people that live above their means and then complain that the economy is in ruins, or they don't understand how they aren't making ends meet, basically what she would like to do to her family. The sad thing is this happens all the time. People try to buy huge houses and new cars that they clearly can't afford, so instead of making them look like rich, they just look pathetic. It's like those people's houses you walk into that are really big, but when you walk inside there is three pieces of furniture and all white walls. Or the single lady on a low salary with 4 kids decides to drop 5 grand on breast implants, why? Oh cause it made her feel better about herself. All these sort of awesome decision's that people realize how fucking stupid they actually are.

To be honest the biggest problem I have with this whole thing is how pathetic this Laura Cone sounds. Here she is not struggling or poor, but maybe just unhappy. Maybe she has an ugly husband, or her kids are destine to amount to nothing. Regardless of what the problem is, from what I read I can only assume she wants her next 5 years to look like this...Buy a huge house with expensive cars and live like money is no problem, a year after that have the house foreclosed so all your rich neighbors can see, get the car repossessed at your soon to be foreclosed house where you make a huge scene, begging and crying for them not to take it, later to only  discover your husband is cheating on you because you clearly care more about what others think than he does, you can't grocery shop properly and instead of using your natural instincts and cooking, you ate out every day and tipped 35% because it makes you look important, and now single and poor, you realize that maybe the way you were living 5 or 6 years prior to that wasn't actually as bad as it seemed.

What's important to realize is that this Laura Cone lady needs to stop being a little bitch and realize that they've got a good thing going. I would love to find a job that makes 100k a year, and I think almost anyone would, so I end this with a big fuck you Laura Cone, value what's good in life, and learn how to spend your money better.





p.s here is this abomination of an article http://finance.yahoo.com/news/first-person-earn-more-100-000-still-feel-151200753.html

Everyone Wants to Help

Ah...the idea of mass hysteria is great. One person creates a video and all the sudden everyone claims they're a fucking humanitarian. I'm talking about this new video created in efforts to stop a man by the name of Joseph Kony. I'm not knocking the video at all, in fact I agree it's a good thing, we need to kill this motherfucker. But when everyone start's to think that they are Mother Teresa because they can update their status's over their phone showing how much they care, then I think we are really missing the point here. 

Facebook is a funny thing when it comes to these sort of events. We read one thing and all of the sudden people are philosophers with these deep and sentimental wall posts about how much they give a fuck about this new global issue. Like after watching a 30 minute video they have become enlightened and blessed with all these moral ideals. The truth is that most of these people who have all the sudden become "concerned", really cared about nothing outside their own little lives, let alone Africa, but the idea of joining in in a mass concern for the well-being of other's makes them feel like they are actually making a difference in the world.

 Because of this people trying to make light of the situation, and as a result of this new found wisdom by all you newly created globally cultured people, y'all are jumping their nuts, preaching to them about the seriousness of the whole situation as if you just got back from a one man John Rambo mission through Uganda. This is called mass hysteria. It is very common not only in efforts to help the world, but even something as small as a sports team winning a championship game. That's why for instance when the Chicago Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup people were rioting in the streets. I'm talking about common people who work a 9 to 5, setting cars on fire and flipping them. That is mass hysteria, people acting or performing out of the ordinary because one or a few people start something. It's like a false epidemic. That's how this is working right now and lately comments on Facebook have been too funny. There are guys and girls posting this video and then commenting below them with these inspiring words like they are fucking Aristotle, when really all they know is about 30 minutes of information that they were completely oblivious to before that.

So before everyone gets all hyped up thinking they are making a difference by posting a video let me hit you with a little knowledge, you're not. And for all you funny people who are making a joke out of this...well it's a little soon I suppose, plus nothing makes you look like more of a douche than a failed joke via Facebook. So instead of falling into the hysteria, why don't we let the people who actually do know what's going on take care of things.

Just a Quick Thought

This will be short, but I was listening to the radio this morning and Marilyn Manson's cover of Sweet Dreams came on. I'm not really a Manson fan, but I do enjoy that song...gotta love the 80's. But after the song ended I was thinking...isn't Marilyn Manson basically the male version of Lady Gaga? Though it is difficult to compare fame, even though Manson has quite the cult following, Both artists are very similar in their antics. They both dress in ways that turn heads, their on stage performances or both bizarre but somewhat intriguing, and the majority of their interviews they are quoted as saying something borderline controversial. In the scheme of things, they are both incredibly intelligent people, who's ideologies of fame is to stand against the norm, and use their "way out in left-field" persona's create the image that the public views them as. Think about it.