Thinking about what you Think

How many times have you been engaged in conversation and you think, "wow, what this person is saying right now is really weird..". Maybe it's not even conversation, but maybe something someone is doing, or wearing that makes you think how normal you seem to be. I'm sure everyone has at least one case of that happening because I certainly have.

Often I realize I spend a lot of time in my own head. Thinking, trying to remember what I need to do, obscure thoughts that come across my mind, or sometimes just basically talking to myself in my own head. When it comes down to it, blogs like this are basically my thoughts being put into words to share it with people, right? I think many people do this, and the only thing that separates "weird" people from people that appear to be "normal" are whether or not these thoughts actually reach the surface, where as some people just keep that sort of thing stored away. I truly believe this is how I am, and I am just wondering does everyone do this sort of thing? If you're having trouble understanding, let me share some very weird examples to you and see if we can relate.

One thing that I tend to do all the time is, see how quietly I can go up a flight of stairs but still go up them quickly? Like I am training to be a fucking ninja or something? I don't know why I do it, but it gets bad enough to where sometimes after reaching the top of the stairs, I actually acknowledge my stealthiness. As if I actually walked up to someone and was like "hey did you see how swift I was going up the stairs there?" They would probably just stare blankly at me, and depending on how badly their day was going would justify their actions to push me back down that flight of stairs, casually walk down them themselves call me a fucking weirdo, and spit on my injured body.

This also happens when I am driving. For instance, when traffic is slightly heavy, but just enough for you to weave through it if you were in a hurry. It is that few minute span when you're weaving through a bit of traffic and realize that you reached the front of that pack...That I feel like I just pulled of the greatest driving stunt since David Hasselhoff in Knight Rider. Like not even Jeff Gordon could have done that shit if he was in that same situation, when in reality I was doing 24mph blowing past 6 cars doing 22mph because we were in a school zone. Not to mention I could see each individual face for 30 seconds as I was switching lanes through the "pack", but still I pulled off the stare down...Like did you see what I did there...that's right, no blinker, and then I zoom off!

One last one that seems to frequently occur is my own secret competitions with people. Maybe in the classroom setting when a question is asked I am the first one to raise my hand. Whether I am called on is totally irrelevant, but the fact that my hand was numero uno is a win in itself. Or driving again, when you and a car are in the front of a stop light, and you and some stranger have a Fast and the Furious moment. The other person doesn't need to know, but when I beat them to that first light pole...my God that is always a huge victory. 

Even writing all this seems weird because all these things are what go on in my head, but I never actually say it. I want to know if the people who read this do any bizarre things like that? Like I said, even just reading this back to myself and I am thinking good God what kind of freak show do I have going on in my brain. Am I secretly fucking weird myself...or is this what a lot people also do and choose not to say anything?

We the Viewers...

You know as you grow up, and even when you reach adulthood you stumble across those people who have a dying passion for something that seems a little ridiculous. Like when you see those college students cry in the crowd after their school football team lost. Or when you see a stream of Facebook posts from girls, who are still pissed about who the bachelor chose to wed. Like after 12 seasons or whatever, people still don't know that show is completely staged. There are just certain things that happen in life where people seem to get so emotional, but in reality that specific event really doesn't do a lot of justice, and to all those people who stress about reality TV, and sporting events, I can assure you...that next day, is going to be exactly like the one day before, and the one before that. Now don't get me wrong, I have been guilty of this before. I was torn when the U.S.A lost in the World Cup, or when Nickelodeon stopped airing Doug. Those are fairly legit reasons right? Not really...because at the end of the day, by me being extremely angry, or upset, my emotions will not directly effect the outcome in any sort of way. I mean in high school there were people in the stands crying when our high school football team lost in playoffs (and yes, I am calling those people out because it is embarrassing and shameful). It is fucking high school! sure prom was fun, but when people still reflect on that as one of the greatest, and most glamorous nights of their life? yikes... 

The important thing to understand is that things like sports, TV shows we really need to just enjoy them for what they are. Cheer and support a team (GO UNITED!), but when they lose, or things don't go their way...don't cry, or throw chairs, or beat your girlfriend. It's not like your on the team! In fact, those teams don't even know that you are a fan, so by you cheering or booing it really doesn't matter. it's fun...but don't take it over the top. All your doing is embarrassing yourself. To make matters worse...if you don't actually play sports, but you "know everything there is to know about the sport", or your that "number 1" fan who paints up and goes to all of the games with out a shirt on so you can drink, and showoff how fat you are to only prove the only thing you could beat me in is having a heart attack first, you are the worst! These are the guys who still live the high school dream...and constantly bring up  the times when they were the 3rd string punter on their state championship high school team. When you see these guys at the national championship football games, in the crowd going on their 9th year of college and still have a semester left, who are crying when their team loses! Oh it's embarrassing!! and hilarious because you know that your not that guy (at least I hope not). 

 NOTE: if you have a parent, brother, or relative..or an absolute best friend...not like a 'friend' that you had chemistry with and you borrowed a pencil once, and now that he is the starting right guard for the football team..you two are somehow BFF's...but and actual  very good friend, then and only then does the rules of controlling your emotions become void, and at that time you have every right to riot, cry, laugh, or whatever it may be pending the result. 

As for TV shit. 90% of all TV is bullshit. Again don't get me wrong, I am heavily addicted and watch the shit out of all the worst TV show's. But when, people lose on The Amazing Race or get kicked off of The Challenge. Don't be that person that cries for them, or is pissed because "they should have won". this sort of behavior is more embarrassing than when sports fans get out of control. I am not trying to be sexist...but this sort of behavior you find mostly in girls. The kind of girl who judges each girl on 16 and pregnant, and thinks that it wouldn't even be a competition if they were on The Bachelor. Then they post that on Facebook or Twitter. An update that is on the lines of something like, "Ohhhhh myyy God! (insert name) is such a slut I can't believe the bachelor guy chose her over her...p.s sorority meeting tonight with the chicas luv yall!!" Then the next day you see some sort of religious quote from that same person... like they actually attend church regularly "Let only God judge people, for he is my savior" proverbs 11:23, or some shit like that, clearly I am not a church goer.  

Like I said though I am incredibly guilty of the sports thing...and so are the majority of all people, but I don't understand how society came to be that way. We got non athletes rioting in the street because their team won the Stanley Cup. Girls who should have a "free hand jobs" sign at parties every weekend who in turn yell at the TV when someone on the Real World has a threesome in the spa...like their the whores. The point is, I'm not even mad at the hypocrisy, judging, over emotional, brain dead people that walk among this earth. I find it very embarrassing yet incredibly entertaining, and fuck, that is why I get so much joy out of watching TV and sports. It's people like that that can make life more enjoyable

The Right kind of Player

Nothing really interesting has come up for me to blog about besides Floyd Mayweather being one of the most ignorant and intolerant people on this planet, but if he were the topic I think the blog would be done right here. So I decided to do a follow up on all the overrated or unwanted players in each respected sport, by discussing guys who I think everyone who would want to have as that glue that holds a team together. Maybe their not the guy who shows up on ESPN every night or wins every award, but their the guy that superstars thank day in and day out that they were apart of their team. So...here we go... 

In the NBA, I am a big fan of the guy who is consistent on both sides of the court, and the guy who stays out of trouble off the court, and most importantly (or at least hopefully) the guys who make millions of dollars who are broke as fuck two years after retirement. 

Shane Battier - That wrinkle headed former dukie does everything he is supposed to, especially when it comes to playing man on man defense against every big name player. His performance was second to none when he squared off against Kobe Bryant in the playoffs a few years back. He is a team leader and a superb role player. 

Zach Randolph/Kevin Love/Al Jefferson - There might be more but I particularly like these guys because they put up solid numbers every single night. With the exception of ZR who is out for the season with injury, the other two average well over a double double, and they both play on very average teams. Randolph punished Duncan and the Spurs last year and would have been elite again this year if it weren't for injury. 

James Harden/Serge Ibaka - With no disrespect to Durant and Westbrook (even though I hate that fuck), Harden and Ibaka to me are the reasons that Thunder maintain such dominance this season. Both Durant and Westbrook are the faces of OKC, but James Harden would probably be a superstar are any other team he played for. As for Serge? the man is like a more athletic Dikembe Mutombo...all he needs now is a cool gesture after he packs someone's shit when driving the lane. (Mutombo had the finger-wave). My suggestion? the suck it sign...like x-pac when he wrestled for d-generation x. Granted a bit bold and unprofessional, but my God would it be intimidating. 

In the NFL again it is all about the hard workers...the guys who don't need a huge paycheck after one good season. 

Hines Ward - sure the man is getting old now, but for a receiver he is one of the dirtiest in the league...which is awesome! If you go look at 95% of the receivers in the NFL their idea of blocking is having a tickle fight with the corner opposite of them. Hines Ward works hard whether the ball is coming his way or he blocking Ray Lewis. It doesn't matter he is going to do what it takes to make sure his team wins. *sidenote: the guy has no ACL in one of his knees...I'm not even sure how he can play but regardless it is pretty impressive. 

The good offensive linemen - these guys are so under-appreciated that I don't even know their names myself. These guys are the reason often running backs are so dominant, and QB's have the stats they do. Nothing more needs to be said...there the heart of the team. 

Ed McCaffrey - Yeah I know he is retired, but back in his heyday, not only was he dominant on Blitz but the man didn't drop a pass. John Elway and Mike Shanahan were the sickest fucks in the NFL. Shanahan would call crossing routes down the middle for this guy, while John Elway would lead his pass just enough for Ed to catch it, but to get  absolutely destroyed upon catching it. Poor Ed, he probably can't even walk anymore...the only receiver I ever respected for wearing all his leg pads. 

Again with baseball...who honestly gives a fuck. For the guys working hard...if you were good enough to be a "hard worker" you wouldn't be thirty pounds over weight rotting in the minor leagues. 

Soccer was a bit tricky, cause a lot of the guys who are vital for teams I honestly hate. 

Raul/Inzaghi/Klose/Kuyt(aka sloth from The Goonies)/Hernandez - Besides Raul and Chicharito, I can't stand any of these other guys. Most of them can't remember the last time they scored a goal just shooting the ball. All these players practically live offsides, don't show up for a game for 87 minutes, but seem to score either in the most important of times, or all the time on some shitty goal. These guys also play on the most elite of teams, so as much I hate them, I would want them on my team. 

Skrtel/Kompany/Keane(I'm talking Roy not that pussy Robbie)/Vieira - Or any other guy on the field that when push comes to shove, or maybe a little scuffle breaks out on the field...these are the guys I want behind me because I am pretty sure that 3/4 of these guys have actually killed a man on the field and scared the ref too much for him to do anything. 

Claude Makalele- The biggest reason Real Madrid and Chelsea were successful when they were winning titles. I don't care who you said was on their team back then, if you watch those games...than man could hold the entire field, box-to-box all by himself. 

I am sure I missed some, but what is important is to understand that there are some players that deserve more credit than they're given. Also I apologize for any grammatical or spelling errors, it's early and I'm too tired to go back through it. 

The Things we Truly Need

Recently I was sitting in class when the topic of education was brought up. One of the biggest concerns among my other classmates was technology over powering the roots of education. I completely understand that...now days with the i-phone, i-pad, calculators, and advancements in computer software have made pencil and paper seem completely useless. All these reason's I get, I really do. I mean hell, it seems every time I write something down not only has my penmanship dropped immensely, but my hand starts cramping after I write my name and date on the paper. With that understanding, my fellow class mates (98% whom are older, and most have kids already) are deeply concerned with what their children and other students will be learning because they claim that with technology now kids aren't understanding how to properly write, or do fundamental math. For this argument I kind of get.

My plea against this is, as I reflect on the information I have obtained through my grade school years...Almost none of the material has been useful in my life. Never once did I say, "Thank God I knew what the 10th element was on the periodic table (its neon by the way) or I would have never known what to when I was trying to get jobs, or get into college." Or "good thing I did D.A.R.E when I was in elementary, of God only knows where I would have been right now..." 

In math, as a high school student you learn what a proof is. Basically a proof is something you use in geometry or something (I didn't do well in math) that you spend more time drawing little branches to get to the end of the problem, only to find out that your answer was on the page from the beginning, and all you did was make it look like a tree. Or why do I need to know about the colonization of China during the Ming dynasty? Am I being quizzed for jeopardy later this evening? Or is that question frequently asked under emergency contacts when your filling out job application forms? 

If you ask me I say let the kids be technologically gifted! who the fuck writes hand-written paper's anymore? Not to mention, when is the last time you heard someone getting rich for being a great historian? probably never..those arrogant know-it-all's are just pricks who sucked at sports, so they plunged their face into a book to learn about something that no one really cares about. Instead you got guys like Mark Zuckerberg who are filthy rich, why? Because instead of reading Great Expectation's by Charles Dickens (who is probably one of the most boring writer's God has accidentally put on this earth), which was written in the 1860's and discussing why Pip was constantly masturbating at the thought of Estella and how Ms. Havisham was secretly a pedophile, he was on his computer writing code for one of today's most exposed websites in the world! He became successful because he said fuck school, color-coding maps of pre world war I Europe will not do shit for me. Other recent successors Steve Jobs (R.I.P dude), Mark Cuban, Steven Spielberg, the Star Wars guy, and Bill Gates are all extremely wealthy because they know that we live in a technology based world, and understanding the in's and out's of it all is what has become most important.    

Let's face it, our education system is incredibly flawed...we teach so that kid's do well on the TAKS test so teachers and school look "good". But as mentioned, the information that we have learned and continue to learn are only beneficial on a game show or on a high school test. Don't get me wrong, yes, things like how to spell, speak, add, subtract, a few of the basics, but after that we need to teach for what is important. Actual decent information that kids can carry with them. Like how to use a computer properly, type faster, how to properly format a paper, and for God's sake, teach a child how to read. Nothing is worse than sitting in 11th grade English class with all your friends and some stuttering Stanley gets called to read and his reading turns into a group effort because he spelled words like 'February', 'Febewary" and no one said anything, so now every time that dipshit reads not only is embarrassing for him, but its annoying and boring for everyone else. So please, don't let our faulty education system create people like I just mentioned. And please, let's figure this education system thing so America doesn't continue to become less and less intelligent. 

p.s thanks to technology I was able to write on this stupid blog. If this would have been hand-written, my paper would have read...title: educational flaws. body: Fuck our education system!...the end. 

Are you that Good?

Every single season in every sport there are guys that are considered "elite" status or on the verge of finally proving their worth that they are premier players. But there are certain names on those list that GM's and coaches need to avoid. 

In the NBA the top 5 over rated or liable players to have on your team are...(in no particular order)

1. Carmelo Anthony

2. Russell Westbrook

3. Monta Ellis

4. Kevin Martin 

5. DeMarcus Cousins 

Carmelo Anthony, a selfish player who shoots the ball way too much. He is 99th in the league for field goal % and 12th in attempts. All this proves is that he is player who thinks he can take over a game when he really can't. He was supposed to be a blockbuster trade this year when he headed to the Knickerbockers, but their record certainly show that he is not capable of carrying a team, even when he has another all-star in Amare Stoudamire. I wouldn't want him, and I'm thinking that the Knicks GM is also considering the same thing.

Keven Martin and Monta Ellis are almost in the same category as Carmelo with the exception that both of them are those players on the "verge" of being elite. They shoot the ball way too much, often streaky, and play 0 defense. Result: Both play on very average teams, and are not those players who can take their team to the next level. They are players who think they are all-stars when all they really are exceptional role players. "But they are top 25 in scoring!?!?" Well, they are also barely in the top 100 in FG%, and top 15 in attempts. PASS THE FUCKING BALL AND QUIT SHOOTING SO MUCH.

Russell Westbrook is suffering from superiority complex syndrome. Granted, yes, he is a very good point guard who is very capable and to me seems like a young Allen Iverson. His downfall? He thinks he is number one when really he is the Thunders number 2. He will forever live and die in the shadow of Oklahoma City's main man, Kevin Durant. Until Westbrook accepts that, he will be a cancer to the the Thunder for the fact that he often tries to take over too much when he really should be giving it to the Durantula. 

DeMarcus Cousins is someone I believe that can outshine the likes of Blake Griffin, Kevin Love, and LeMarcus Aldridge. Averaging 15 ppg, 12 rpg, and 1.5 bpg. Maybe those stats don't quite meet the other three's stats, Cousins is only a sophomore. He is averaging more blocks and rebounds than sophomore Blake Griffin. His problem is that mother fucker think he is playing basketball in prison. The man leads the league in fouls, and is like 3rd or 4th in technicals. He just has no regard for anyone's safety in the paint, which don't get me wrong...I love aggression and physical play in the NBA, but good lord have some sort of defensive awareness. 

Aright so I got carried away with the NBA players, but their in season right now so I figured they deserved a bit more of the spot light. Some other names in sports that I would argue have these problems are...(again in no order). 

NFL:

1. Tony Romo - good but very inconsistent

2. Santonio Holmes - Thinks he is Calvin Johnson 

3. Philadelphia Eagles - Andy Reid's faith in mobile QB's 

4. Mark Sanchez - for some reason people think he is good? I am honestly still confused by this cause he fucking sucks. 

5. James Harrison/Phillip Rivers/Edelman (that white db for the pats?) - guys who talk countless amounts of shit and often get fined, get burnt play after play, or just kind of suck when things get important. 

6. Tim Tebow - for all the bible thumpers, girls who think he is good cause he's "hot", people who are big band wagon people, and ignorant people who think it's cool to "Tebow", let's get this straight...he fucking sucks. He can't throw, and he won a playoff game that he would lose 99 out of 100 times, and now with the loss of their defensive coordinator he is going to do about as well as JaMarcus Russell did for the Raiders. 

Soccer: 

1. Peter Crouch - Could be a force in the air, but prefers to play grab ass with every guy in the box instead. 

2. Johnny Evans - a young kid who thinks playing defense means injuring anyone that comes across his path. 

3. Mario Balotelli - Someone with enormous talent, but chooses to be a retard and a little bitch both on and off the field, who still struggles putting his own penny's on.  

4. Pinto - somehow the second string goalie for Barcelona...I mean if you can find a highlights of him doing good things...feel free to show me...

5. Neymar - this is a bit of stretch...and I can understand how people disagree, but until he gets into a bigger league..he just looks like the next Robinho or Ricardo Quaresma...a very flashy player who never lived up to the hype.

and finally...

MLB: Ever since Ken Griffey jr. and Kenny Lofton left the game...I honestly couldn't give a shit who plays for what team, or who is capable of what.  

The Great Debate

Often one of the most controversial topics that people share among each other is politics. Fox news is Republican, CNN is Democratic, and people never really seem to be satisfied with who is in the office. Now, I don't really know a whole lot about the details of politics and everything, but it seems to me that any president that was ever quoted as "a good president" got shot, or shot at. Everyone watches the news, or a channel that talks politics, but whenever they talk about it it's always bullshit or propaganda. Which humors me because there are so many people who spend so much of their time reading and watching news only to piss them off for the entire day, vent to someone about, feel better, and then  do it all over again tomorrow. 

The truth of the matter is, is that regardless of what you think or do, in the end it is not going to matter. Taxes will go up, jobs will be lost, and people in the military are still going to shipped out. I think the problem is the people who protest either a. can't enunciate well enough while chanting, or b. their penmanship needs improvements on all their signs. That's a lie, but sometimes I like to think that that is politicians excuse for not listening. 

I am from Texas, and even with out knowing a single thing about politics I can tell you this. Regardless of my vote and my thoughts on who is running this god forsaken country my vote DOES NOT matter. 

I know that is one of those golden phrases that makes certain people want to choke me out the second the sentence leaves my mouth. But let's face it, Texas isn't a swing state. I could get a 1,000,000 people to vote democrat who usually vote republican and when I watch the news during voting Texas will show up red (surprise surprise...). Look at it anyway you want, but the fact of the matter is, is that Texas is a red state and my vote isn't changing its color. 

"But your ancestor's fought and died for your right to vote!" I know they did, and I am grateful for that. They  also fought and died for me to bare arms, but I hate guns and believe that outside of hunting they shouldn't be used. Does that make me unpatriotic? Not to mention, like I stated before even if I do opt to exercise my right to vote...all that does for me is waste time in my day so that I can walk into a photo-booth and write Lord Voldemort down as my President. And even when I do write him down, unfortunately Texas isn't going to swing because I thought the Tom Riddle himself preached the right things. 

In the end this is why politics are such a controversial topic. Now that Obama is in the office Republicans say things like, he's only a good speaker, he is a communist, or he is the Anti-Christ. Democrats respond, well he is better than that coke-head Bush, that inbred Texan could barely get through a speech with out forgetting while he was up there. Then R's respond, well he was better than that pervert Clinton, which is countered by recognizing Bill's superiority to George W's retard dad. And as if I haven't gotten my point across far enough, the argument just continues in a spiraling and pathetic case until both parties head's explode with anger. However the one positive is that eventually, if the argument continues down the line we will reach common ground. Both Democrats and Republicans can conclude that our wooden toothed, drunken, fake haired, first president, who lived on some fake mountain must have been the greatest president to ever touch American soil! I give you Mr. George Washington! My argument for all politics is we need to find someone that fits those qualities and we will once again be officially united. 

If none of that satisfies you just remember Republicans for Lord Voldemort! 

An Obscurely Sane Situation

So Jon Ronson, author of the book The Psychopath Test, has been a superb book thus far and though it is my first Ronson story, I must say I am quite fond of his writing ability. In this book, Ronson tells the story from a first person prospective (Jon Ronson himself being the narrator), and he embarks on his adventure as a journalist speaking with psychologist, psychiatrist's, Scientology leaders, and any other doctor that might deal with someone who is, well, not quite right. One of his stories early on in the book has recently sent me into long periods of thought and dilemma. (I am going to try to do my best to not completely ruin the story). A very broad synopsis of what took place is, this guy named Tony, once got into some trouble and he was going to head to prison. At a young age, Tony was hesitant to go to prison and realized he had to get out. This is the part that has had my brain warped like a bad acid trip. He decided that he would FAKE his way into making the court and the doctors that he was insane by plagiarizing movies that involved "crazy" people e.g A Clockwork Orange. Tony being an apparently swell actor, pulled it off, avoided prison and was sent to a mental institute.

Well played right? Wrong. Tony was from what seemed so good at what he did that by the time he tried to speak with his doctors about getting out, they told him that he was not okay. So ironically, Tony, a normal guy  could fake his way into a hospital, however, when trying to be himself, normal, he could not get out.

Crazy I know. I was equally blown away by the circumstances, but then I started to think...if you were to walk up to a stranger assuming they were normal (only 1% of the world is labeled a psychopath so your odds are good) and told them to prove to them that they were normal, what would they say? For better argument, what would you say? Not to mention Tony is already accused of being mentally unhealthy. What would the first words be out of your mouth if someone were to approach you and ask to prove your sanity?

At first I thought that would be simple. Perhaps my name or something I enjoy doing, you know, a normal thing. But then I thought about if that is what other people would say? are my own thoughts sane one's? When I tell people information does it seem honest and true? How does my face look? Crazy? Normal? Confused? And question after question can be poured out of this ridiculous scenario but it made me realize a few things.

1.) It is bizarre to me that we have a diagnosis for what people who are crazy, psycho, insane, whatever you want to call it have a definition for them. They can be labeled and persecuted yet the definition for normal (normal state of mind, or having similar state of mind as general population..thanks Wikipedia) seems incredibly broad and vague.

2.) It is a lot easier to act crazy than act normal.

3.) From the looks of it, crazy people are getting a bad wrap.

4.) Thank you Jon Ronson for hitting me with an absolute mind-fuck.

p.s read the book The Psychopath Test it is really really good...for normal people.