THE REAL WINNER

IN THE SPORTS WORLD, THE NFL HAS BEEN THE HYPE ALL SUMMER WITH THE LOCK OUT AND ALL, BUT NOW SINCE THAT HAS FINALLY ENDED (WHICH IS AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT STUPID ASS STORY IN ITSELF) THE TRADE MARKET AND FREE AGENCY HAS BEEN CHAOS. CHAD OCHOCINCO, ALBERT HAYNESWORTH, PLAXICO, RANDY MOSS, AND ALL THE OTHER BIG NAMES WHO ARE NOW THE SAME FACE DIFFERENT PLACES OF THE NFL. HOWEVER, AS MUCH AS I WATCH ESPN AND LISTEN TO SPORTS RADIO...THERE IS ONE STORY THAT ANALYST SEEM TO BE IGNORING. FOR THOSE WHO DON'T WATCH THAT MUCH SPORTS, OR HAVE BEEN LIVING UNDER A ROCK, COMMENTATORS AND ANALYST CLAIM THAT TEAMS LIKE THE JETS, CARDINALS, PATS, AND TEXANS WERE THE WINNERS OF THE PRESEASON. THEY ARE ALL WRONG. THE SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS HAVE HANDS DOWN BOOSTED THERE TEAM MORE THAN ANY OTHER NFL TEAM THE OFF-SEASON. WHY YOU ASK? WELL MANY PEOPLE KNOW THAT THERE CURRENT STARTING QB ALEX SMITH JUST RECENTLY RE-SIGNED. A MEDIOCRE QB AT BEST, BUT I BELIEVE THE ONE THING REALLY HOLDING HIM BACK ALL LAST SEASON HAS FINALLY LEFT HIM, AND THAT BOULDER ON HIS SHOULDERS IS DAVID CARR. YES I SAID IT, DAVID CARR, THAT DOUCHE HAS FINALLY BEEN CUT FROM THE TEAM. SOURCES CLAIM THAT HE JUST DIDN'T FIT THEIR SYSTEM, BUT I THINK IT WAS HIS NERVE TO TRY AND WEAR TWO GLOVES AS A QUARTERBACK. WITH MORE YARDS LOST THAN COMPLETIONS...DAVID CARR SHOULD ACTUALLY JUST BE HAPPY COACHES ACTUALLY LOOK HIM IN THE FACE WHEN THEY LET HIM GO. THE ONLY THING DAVID CARR SHOULD FEEL RESPECTED FOR IS THE FACT THAT JIM HARBAUGH AND COMPANY CUT HIM EARLY ENOUGH TO FIND ANOTHER CAREER PATH. CHEERS TO YOU SAN FRAN FOR MAKING THE BEST CUT IN FRANCHISE HISTORY.  

SLOW DOWN!!!

SHIT...IT HAS BEEN QUITE SOME TIME...BUT HERE WE GO..RECENTLY I WAS DRIVING TO WORK, SLIGHTLY SPEEDING, WHEN I STUMBLED UPON A MINI VAN WITH THE VERY POPULAR STICKER "BABY ON BOARD". NOW, THIS ISN'T THE FIRST TIME THAT I HAVE SEEN THIS BUT IT MAKES ME THINK, AND DON'T FREAK OUT ABOUT MY INSENSITIVITY...BUT BECAUSE THERE IS A BABY ON BOARD, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN THAT I SHOULD DO AS A DRIVER? SHOULD I SLOW DOWN, BECAUSE THE CHILD IS RATTLED BY SOMEONE DRIVING PASSED THEIR OVER PROTECTIVE MOTHER? OR PERHAPS TURN MY RADIO DOWN BECAUSE SOMEHOW THEY CAN HEAR MY MUSIC AND IT COULD PHYSICALLY OR PSYCHOLOGICALLY DAMAGED THE CHILD? IT JUST MAKES ME CURIOUS HOW THESE PARENTS HAVE THE AUDACITY TO ACTUALLY PUT THIS ON THERE VEHICLE AS IF THERE CHILD MIGHT BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANY OTHER PERSON? THAT MAKES SENSE RIGHT? IF THERE IS A GROUP OF TEENAGERS DRIVING A CAR, SHOULD I JUST CONTINUE SPEEDING AND JAMMING TO MUSIC? OR PERHAPS IF IT IS JUST ANOTHER ADULT THAT I SHOULD BE SWERVING IN AND OUT OF LANES...BUT GOD SAVE ME, IF THERE IS A BABY ON BOARD, FOR SOME REASON I SHOULD REALLY FOCUS ON MY DRIVING RATHER THAN IF ITS JUST SOME SCHMUCK DRIVING. WHO KNOWS, MAYBE ITS INSENSITIVE AND BECAUSE I AM NOT A PARENT I CANT UNDERSTAND...BUT IT JUST SEEMS LIKE THE NEXT STEP I SHOULD TAKE IS GETTING MYSELF A STICKER THAT SAYS "22 YEAR OLD ON BOARD". THAT WAY PEOPLE KNOW I AM IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO MAKE SURE THEY DON'T SPEED PASSED ME...IT SCARES ME HAH!