TAKE A LOOK IN THE MIRROR

ALRIGHT, EARLIER TODAY WHILE I WAS BASKING ON THE COUCH OF THE APARTMENT I STUMBLED UPON A RIDICULOUSLY STUPID BUT HILARIOUS SHOW ON VH1 THAT WAS ON THE LINES OF 100 THINGS THAT GUYS SHOULDNT WEAR IF THEY WANT ANY CHANCE TO GET WITH A GIRL OR SOMETHING. SOME OF THESE FASHION DISASTERS INCLUDED HAWAIIAN T SHIRTS, CROCS, EXCESSIVE BLING, AND JORTSEDLESS TO SAY I CANT BLAME THEM, BUT AS MENTIONED IN THE SHOW, ALF* CAN ABSOLUTELY ROCK THE SHIT OUT OF A HAWAIIAN T SHIRT). BUT WHILE I WAS ROTTING ON THE COUCH I WAS THINKING ABOUT SOME OF THE THINGS THAT THEY MISSED OUT ON THAT I SEE AROUND HERE. (BRACE YOURSELF FRIENDS, IM BUSTIN CHOPS, INCLUDING MYSELF, SO I HOPE THIS IS ALL IN GOOD TASTE).

FIRST LET ME START WITH MYSELF...I AM VERY VERY OFTEN THE GUY WHO ROCKS 3/4 PANTS. (CAPREES, MANPREES...TAKE YOUR SHOTS ITS WHATEVER). MOST PEOPLE, INCLUDING MYSELF SOMETIMES ARE BAFFLED ON WHY THESE CONFUSED PANTS WERE MADE, BUT I CAN'T SEEM TO GET AWAY FROM THEM, AND OFTEN LAZINESS IS THE DEMISE TO THE BLACK 3/4 PANTS I AM OFTEN GUILTY OF WEARING.

BOXERS THAT HANG LONGER THAN YOUR SHORTS! I DONT THINK I NEED TO REALLY EVEN SAY MORE...I THINK THE STATEMENT SPEAKS FOR ITSELF

NEVER WEARING PANTS OR JEANS. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DURING THE WINTER JUST THROW ON A PAIR OF JEANS...THERE IS NOTHING COOL (EXCUSE THE PUN) ABOUT WEARING SHORTS IN 20 DEGREE WEATHER, YOUR MISERABLE, AND EVERYONE IS CONFUSED WHAT THE HELL YOUR DOING.

SHOES THAT HAVE INDIVIDUAL TOE HOLES. IF THESE THINGS WERE SO PRODUCTIVE, PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES WOULD WEAR THESE DURING GAMES...AND BESIDES, NOT ONLY DO YOU LOOK COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS AND BECOME MORE PRONE TO STUBBING YOUR TOE...THEY HONESTLY KIND OF CREEP ME OUT.

LASTLY, ARTICLES OF CLOTHING THAT HAVE PEACE SIGNS ON THEM...GROW UP HIPPIE WE LIVE IN THE YEAR 2011, NOT THE 1960.

 OH, JUST ONE MORE THING THAT IS ABSOLUTELY APPAULING...ARSENAL ATTIRE. WEARING AN ARSENAL JERSEY THESE DAYS IS LIKE ME PUTTING ON MY RECREATIONAL JERSEY WHEN I WAS 8. THAT WAS 14 YEARS AGO WHICH IS ALMOST THE SAME AMOUNT OF YEARS ITS BEEN SINCE THOSE GOONERS WON ANYTHING. SO PLEASE, SAVE THE EMBARRASSMENT BY KEEPING THAT IN YOUR CLOSET, AND WHEN THEY REMEMBER WHAT WINNING IS, MAYBE YOU CAN HOLD IT IN YOUR HAND OR SOMETHING HAHA.

JUST SOME THINGS I PICK UP ON WHEN I AM CASUALLY STROLLING ABOUT ON CAMPUS, AND FOR ANYONE WHO FEELS LIKE THEY ARE BEING CALLED OUT, FIRST CONSIDER CHANGING BEFORE YOU GO OUT, AND SECOND IM FUCKING WITH YOU :) PEACE

*ALF IS MONSTER/ALIEN WHO USED TO EAT CATS...IM NOT SURE IF HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CHILDREN'S TV SHOW OR WHAT, BUT I THOUGHT I WOULD HELP CLEAR THINGS UP FOR THE INTOLERANT

REASEARCH PAPERS...

IM SITTING AT MY SCHOOL LIBRARY TRYING TO GET SOME HOMEWORK DONE. AND THOUGH THIS GOES AGAINST WHAT I INTEND TO BLOG ABOUT...THE FACT THAT I HAVE A 15-20 PAGE RESEARCH PAPER TO WRITE IS FUCKING STUPID. LOOK ITS NOT EVEN THE LENGTH THAT IS THE PROBLEM, BUT C'MON, IN TODAYS WORK, UNLESS YOU ARE VERY SCHOLARLY AND ACTUALLY SMART ENOUGH TO CONDUCT YOUR OWN RESEARCH...RESEARCH PAPERS ARE A WAY OF SHOWING HOW WELL YOU BEND THE RULES OF CHEATING BY "PARAPHRASING" FIFTY OTHER PEOPLE WHO HAVE ALREADY DONE THE SAME EXACT SHIT THAT YOUR FIXING TO WRITE ABOUT. IF MY PROFESSORS ARE SO WORRIED ABOUT RESEARCH, WHY IN GOD'S NAME WOULD THEY WANT TO READ A RESEARCH PAPER FROM A VERY AVERAGE STUDENT WHO SPENT THE MAJORITY OF THEIR TIME TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW CLOSE THEY CAN COME TO COPYING FREUD WITH OUT ACTUALLY SUCKING THE WORDS OUT OF HIS SICK MIND. SECONDLY, EVEN IF I DID HAVE SOMETHING INTERESTING TO WRITE A RESEARCH ABOUT THAT 500 OTHER SCHOLARS HAD ALREADY DONE, RESEARCH PAPERS ARE HARDLY LITERARY WORK. LETS FACE IT, THERE BORING AS FUCK. EVEN PEOPLE WHO SEVERELY LACK IMAGINATION THINK THAT THESE QUOTED BLOCK OF WORDS ARE BORING. ITS STUPID. SO TO MY PROFESSORS AND TOO MY CLASSMATES WHO MIGHT POTENTIALLY FLIP THROUGH MY PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR REDONE RESEARCH...INSTEAD OF READING MY WORK...WHY DONT YOU JUST READ FROM THE ACTUAL DOCTORS WHO ORIGINALLY WROTE THIS SHIT, AND QUIT WORRYING ABOUT HOW I PROPERLY CITED THEM FOR WHAT THEY SAID.

P.S IM THINKING ABOUT ATTACHING THIS TO MY RESEARCH PAPER IN ORDER TO SHOW THE CREATIVITY THAT HAS BEEN SUPPRESSED WHILE TRYING TO WRITE THIS HORRIFIC PIECE. PEACE.